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It’s cuffing season. You know what that means: that “I miss you” text, that “I messed up” text, that “it’ll be different this time” text.
You start reminiscing on all the good times you had because they make you feel alive again. You realize that those butterflies never went away. Sara Bareilles’ Gravity starts running through your head. You can’t stay away from them even when you know you should. I mean, your best friends hate them, your parents already put up with your tears and they seem to come back to you whenever it doesn’t work out with whomever they were dating.Â
They always come crawling back, and you always end up giving them another chance.Â
But do the good times outweigh the bad? Did you spend the majority of your relationship crying and feeling bad about yourself because of them? Did they break your heart so hard that they made you physically ill for what seemed like a never ending amount of weeks, maybe even months?
They want you but are never willing to commit. They say they need you, but when you need them suddenly you’re too “clingy.” They hold you up on a pedestal, but when it’s convenient for them they are ready to tear you down. They try to control how you dress, who you speak to or how much makeup you wear. Mind games are second nature to them. Tell me, when you argued about something that they did, did they always bring it back to you? Was the original argument ever resolved?
“But I love them.”
I know, I know. But how many times have they said “I love you” to you and meant it? How many times has this person left you? How many times has this person hurt you emotionally? It’s gradual, and sometimes it’s barely noticeable – but it’s there.
What is important to realize is; this person is toxic. No matter how much you feel like they complete you, they are poisoning your mind and soul. They could write you all the love poems when they want you back, but where are those poems when you’re back together? You’re in a toxic relationship if you’re curling up in bed, waiting on them to text you back, feeling paranoid. You’re in a toxic relationship if your trust issues are so large you feel the need to check their phone constantly. You’re in a toxic relationship if they constantly belittle you and make you feel bad about yourself and the relationship as a whole.
Ignore the “I miss you”’s and the “I’ll change”’s if you’ve already given them plenty of chances to do so. You are your own person, free yourself from the toxicity and love yourself more than anything in the world. Accomplish your dreams – short term goals or that pinterest recipe you’ve been dying to try. Learn how to go to places without wanting them by your side. Once this has been accomplished, the right person will come, and they will let you see that a healthy relationship doesn’t have to be accompanied by constant fighting. That it doesn’t come with deep seated anger, or cursing at each other. They will show you that healthy love comes with mutual growth and understanding.
Love is a wonderful feeling, do not give it to someone that doesn’t make you feel wonderful about yourself.