Finding common ground and shared experiences with people can sometimes be difficult. However, there is one thing just about every single woman (and man!) share: negative body image. Whether it be your skin or your thighs, everyone has some part of themselves they dislike and wish they could change. One of the easiest things to bond over is a common enemy, so when you find someone who hates their arm fat as much as you hate your eyebrows, you can instantly have something to talk about. Surely almost every woman has been in a “Mean Girls” type situation in which everyone stands around and complains about their latest body “issue” while insisting that the other girls standing around doing the same thing are beautiful and perfect and you wish you had someone else’s calves.
The fact that I and almost every woman I know can relate to this is so sad. The fact that it is totally normal to hate multiple aspects of your appearance (many of which you couldn’t even change) is horrible. This negative body image is expected and accepted and what is worse is that, if a woman does not have this negative self-image and instead stands in front of that mirror feeling completely good about herself, she is told she is vain.
Finding body positivity and self-love in this environment is difficult. When magazines and Hollywood are telling you how to look and what is or isn’t beautiful, it can be hard to get out of that mindset; it certainly was for me. However, I have been able to find self-love in college. I still have insecurities but I am able to live with them and love the way I look despite them. I credit this ability to love myself to a combination of expanding my world in college, more diverse public figures and simply growing up.
Coming from a small town, my exposure to different fashion and different people in fashion was obviously rather limited. I never really found a style I liked and usually resorted to baggy clothing to hide my insecurities. However, when I went to college, I saw so many different styles and body types loving themselves and expressing themselves however they wanted. I also now see plus-size models like Ashley Graham unapologetically being herself and I am inspired to do the same. And, having grown up some, I care so much less about what people think about me than I did in middle and high school. All these things have allowed me to learn to love myself.
No longer do I feel the need to wear baggy clothes to hide myself. No longer do I feel the need to wear makeup all the time to cover insecurities. I wear what I want when I want. Crop tops make me feel pretty, not uncomfortable anymore. Wearing makeup makes me happy, but so does a fresh face. I can wear leggings (usually every Tuesday morning because 9 a.m.’s are the worst) without hating my thighs. Sure, sometimes I don’t feel sexy or confident, but I’m learning how to cope with that. I don’t always have to look perfect to be happy. And I don’t have to look like everyone else to be beautiful.
Don’t compare yourself to others. Find things you love about yourself when you look in the mirror. Learn to love yourself for you.