The worst nightmare of an immigrant parent is telling them you have a boyfriend, and on top of that, a boyfriend not in your culture. I grew up believing it was forbidden to date anyone who wasn’t Somali or Ethiopian. It was an embedded fear from when I was a child until recently. Traditional values of an African home carry from the motherland to America, and as a child, I was taught to uphold my cultural values without conforming to America’s. But as time passed, society slowly started changing, and interracial marriage was becoming more normal to see.
It became evident to my parents that the environment of a child plays a large role in who they become friends with and eventually date. I grew up in an area where I didn’t meet a person from my culture close to my age until I was 13 and went to a high school that had 3/4ths a white population. It’s difficult to get to know my culture when I was forced into an environment that lacked it completely. But one thing I learned and I feel is important for anyone in a similar predicament to know is that as society changes, you learn to see people through their personality and not their race after growing up in a melting pot society like the United States.
Dating interracially has its pros and cons. The pros include being able to get to know and understand each other’s cultures and also loving each other regardless of racial factors playing a role. The cons are any type of backlash from families and society in general. The structures of privilege for interracial couples differentiate immensely. That plays a role in recognizing the differences between interracial couples’ personal experiences. This could be seen as a con because society has created a divide between the white and black experience.
I can say that my white partner would not be able to understand my experiences as a black woman and any adversity I may have faced due to racial factors. But that doesn’t dismiss their experiences, and that’s an important step to adjusting to interracial dating. But the majority of the time, as society shifts into conforming and normalizing interracial couples, this is also allowing people to feel more comfortable and being more open-minded.
A safe space and mutual understanding are important for interracial couples, especially when society can play a large role in the success of a relationship. I experience life differently from my significant other, and creating an environment where emotional communication is evident when societal pressures try to influence the relationship is extremely important.
Being in college, I’ve learned that dating outside of your race is only as serious as you make it, and at the end of the day, it’s your preference. Family plays a factor in where you initially begin, but it’s your choice where you choose to look for love. It’s important if you don’t put too much pressure on the fact that it’s an interracial relationship and realize its two people at the end of the day.