Telenovelas are addictive. The dramatic events, the crying and sappy gestures pull you in. Imagine if college were like a telenovela; freshmen would have grey hairs within the first month of their first semester. How would it feel like to be the protagonist of your own telenovela with the whole world against you?
Surviving everyday life means avoiding the punches love and school throw at you.
In your telenovela, finals aren’t the only thing you have to worry about. The glass ceiling is even higher to reach and you have to choose between love and your career. If you’re lucky you’ll be able to have both, but sacrifices are required to overcome every obstacle. Your life will be shattered, put back together, shattered once more before finally being rebuilt.
Waterproof mascara is your Holy Grail makeup item.
Life isn’t always fair and when you’ve fallen many times, tears start to roll. Telenovelas require many tubes of waterproof mascara because of the many plot twists. You’ll become an expert at crying without making an ugly face, wiping your tears without smudging your makeup will become second nature and your poker face will be award-winning.
Your beau won’t always be by your side.
On top of fighting your way to success, you’ll be fighting for the love of your Principe Azul (Prince Charming). He’s unbelievably handsome, wealthy and under the tight reigns of his parents who want him to marry their best friends’ daughter.
You’ll be strutting your stuff with a full face of makeup and high heels. No sweats for you.
The only time you’ll be underdressed is when you’re wearing your pajamas and even then, they’ll be fancy. So forget your extra-large t-shirts and chocolate stained sweatpants; grab your heels and skin-tight dress.
The b***h slap heard around the world.
In order to defend your dignity and integrity against those who doubt you, you’ll be slapping everyone across campus.
Let’s stick to watching telenovelas and walk away from drama.