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I Got Drunk and Bought a Bunch of Random Products, & Now I’m Reviewing Them Because Why Not

After spending a night out at a party, some people go out for a late-night pizza run, some people find their way to another club and some people go home to waste all of their money online shopping. Within the last few years, retailers have found that more and more consumers are buying products late at night and early in the morning. For many, sitting down with a bottle of wine can lead to a plethora of packages on their steps next week. I, too have fallen victim to shopping while under the influence. I have spent too much money on items that I really did not need. So, in an attempt to stop the senseless shopping, I have rated some of my purchases.  

1. Neckline Slimmer

Description: The Neckline Slimmer is a small device that is placed on the chest and the chin. The user moves their neck up and down and it tightens the muscles in the user’s neck to eliminate double chins and loose neck skin.

Rate: 7/10

Review: Stumbling upon this on my doorstep was a real surprise; however, it was a solid purchase. I use it twice a week, and I have seen a difference from when I began using it. However, it is small and as I am prone to losing things, I often misplace it. Also, you do look ridiculous if you use it in public.

2. Cher in Concert Movie

Description: A $10 movie offered by a seller on Amazon, Cher in concert was recorded at one of her Vegas concerts and edited together by a fan.

Rate: 3/10

Review: As much as I would love to give Cher a 10/10, the quality of the film is terrible. I just wanted to watch Cher in concert after a night out and instead I got a grainy, choppy film.

3. Jellies

Description: A product of the 90s and a precursor for the Croc, these shoes are made out of rubber and come in any color one could ever dream.

Rate: 6/10

Review: Jellies are the epitome of fashion. However, your feet will get dirty thanks to the holes that litter the shoe and blisters usually multiply quickly.

4. Assorted Iron Chef Sauces

Description: A $50 investment through Amazon that offers assorted sauces endorsed by the Food Network show Iron Chef America.

Rate: 5/10

Review: The sauces are great. However, the price is not worth the bottles they send especially considering they are cheaper in store. 

5. Franzia box wine

Description: Five liters of boxed wine that is less than $25.  

Rate: 10/10

Review: Apparently, I thought it was necessary to order more alcohol while drinking alcohol. However, Franzia will always be the best purchase consumer wise. 

Photo credits: cover photo, 1, 2, 3, 4,

Emily Holter is a Freshman at Virginia Commonwealth University. She studies Mass Communications with a concentration in Print and Online Journalism. She is an avid reader of books, a lover of all things Cher, and a flower enthusiast. Most days, she is tucked away in a coffee shop, sipping on her black coffee and enjoying light conversation.
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