Grounding the Future

Knock knock. 

Who’s there? 

I’m. 

I’m what? 

I’m going into a career that will not give me immediate success. 

Who? What? Me? You? Join the club! Gather around the table and let’s talk.

You’re 100% reading this article thinking “what the f*ck did I just click on?" Too late! I’ve roped you in and now it’s too late to back out without feeling the slightest bit guilty.

So, as someone who is going into the big and bountiful (that’s sarcasm) business of show business, I’m basically the equivalent of a baby sea turtle (hence the head photo) trying to survive birth by avoiding the birds and reaching the ocean. Look it up. It's brutal, but its life! However, I’m sure that show business is not the only career choice that is always big and small, easy and difficult, scary and fun and just overall a big stress ball. It’s so easy to just lose yourself in anxiety, doubt and fear and I’m here writing this article to tell you that yeah! Of course, it’s going to be hard, annoying, frustrating and upsetting at any and all times. I’m also writing to share a few golden nuggets that have helped me calm down in times of helplessness and worry. So, here we go:

  1. 1. Stop making such big goals for yourself.

    I’ll tell you what. I am such a fan of making big goals and I’ve been disappointed in myself many times. You’re already going to get a good amount of disappointment from other people, so there’s no need to add yourself to this list. Sure, a grandiose goal may seem attractive at first sight, but if you set it without taking yourself into account, then you’re basically shooting arrows in the dark hoping to hit the target. For example, I know I can procrastinate, I have a lot of anxiety and it does take me a little bit to get into the swing of things. So with that, I’m not going to say “Well, in two minutes, I'm going to finish this, after that I’m going to exercise, shower, write this, finish this, audition for this and immediately rush to that." That won’t be a pretty sight for me. Even though I do somewhat thrive on pressure, it doesn’t mean I should put pressure on myself to get things done that I know I can't accomplish. By all means, if you’re a person that knows that you have a five-year plan down to a “T” and know yourself enough to successfully attain that plan, go for it. But I do know that it’s really upsetting and such a downer when even yourself isn’t on your side. So, know yourself before you plan for yourself.

  2. 2. There are going to be so many no’s. That doesn’t mean you should quit.

    I know quite a few people that have immediately quit after a handful of “no’s." Sure, if it’s not fun anymore and all you feel is misery, by all means, find another passion, but that’s a different conversation. I’m talking about when you have passion, you know in your heart and soul this is what you are meant to do, you shouldn't take the first 200 "no's" as a sign to end things. Nobody likes "no’s." It feels like someone took a look at who you are and the hard work you did and went “NEXT!"  It sucks but it happens! It doesn’t mean that you’re not meant to be whatever you want to be. Each no should be gasoline added to fuel your passion even more.

  3. 3. Find solace in your passion

    Speaking of “no’s," your passion has to be the solid foundation that never breaks when a thousand “no’s” come a-knocking. You have to know within yourself that this what you want to do and no amount of no’s will break your passion for it. This isn’t to be confused in times of high hopes that were let down, though. If you had your heart set on something, it’s only sensible to feel upset about it, but you should not feel upset with the passion itself. Your passion is your best friend, mom, dad and pet. It’s your nuclear family telling you to keep at it, to keep going and to never give up. Your passion is who you are and you shouldn't ever forget it.

    1. 4. Know the difference between passion and wants

      I’m still figuring this one out myself, but I’ve come to realize that there is a difference. Let’s say you’ve wanted to do something your whole life. For example, maybe for your whole life you wanted to be a veterinarian, as animals were always your passion. You get to college and immediately realize that there’s so much work in it. You’re three years into this and you feel miserable but its what you’ve wanted, right? So you keep going. And so on and on and on. Want is want and if you’re stubborn enough, it can lead you to you being in your 30’s and realizing that you feel miserable and that there’s no soul in what you do. Passion is a need. Passion is maybe realizing that yes, you do love animals and want them to feel safe comfortable. That may lead you to realizing that your passion is actually volunteering or working at a shelter. Start a tiny conversation with yourself⁠—is this just what you want, regardless of how you feel, or is this your passion?

    2. 5. Remember that there's a reason you chose this

      One more thing to help with the never-ending hail of “no’s."  Maybe you’re thinking “what the f*ck" is this lady on? What is my passion? I don’t like this article at all! Arghhh!” Just remember that in any career you will have some amount of “no’s," big or small. You can’t deny that, right? Regardless of passion, want or need you just have to know in some deep crevice of your mind or body that you chose this for a reason. Whatever that reason may be, always remember it. Write it down and stick it on the mirror so you can say it to yourself every morning. Just remember it whenever a “no” comes knocking on your door.

    This has been fun! Make sure to bring a bottle of wine next time, I mean, after all, I did invite you into my home. Thanks for coming by, though, and I’ll see you next week. Maybe just go on about your day and have your fourth life crisis. Here's to you.

    Photo credit: 1, 2