During the past two weeks, I have lost two family friends due to non-Coronavirus related issues. The first was my fiance’s step-mother, Susan, and the second was my Nana’s best friend, Nancy. Death is always difficult; between mourning, paperwork, service planning and phone calls, it is overwhelming and stressful. But currently, death is twice as difficult because of the ever-looming Coronavirus. With bans limiting the amount of people that can gather at one time, there can be no large services, no family nights and no large family gatherings. Without a strong support system, the immediate family could become too overwhelmed, making the already terrible process even worse. Luckily, with Susan and Nancy, the family was able to make clear decisions about services with lots of loving family and friends there to help them, maybe not all in person, but through text, phone calls and Facetime.
When Susan passed away, I got a first-hand look at how much harder Coronavirus has made the passing of a loved one. My fiance and I went to be with his dad the night that she passed away. We were present through tough phone calls, finding her information and hearing him make arrangements. Her husband and parents were forced between having a ten or less in-person service, delaying the service until the gathering ban was lifted, having a live-streamed service, having a drive-in style memorial or a combination of these choices. Her husband and parents decided to have a drive-in service. Friends and family gathered in a field at Hope Point Church and tuned their radios into the station that the service was being played through. Love was spread through waves, beeping of car horns and taps on car windows. Although no one could get out of their cars, other than the speakers, we all sang worship songs together and listened to stories about Susan. Coronavirus couldn’t stop the love that was felt at that service; it was truly beautiful.
Exactly one week later, my family lost a very close friend. Nancy was like a grandmother to me, and the news was devastating. Again, the family had to struggle through typical mourning plus the virus. The family chose to have a small graveside service and then have a larger service once the ban is lifted. Unfortunately, that means that the guest list is very small, and I personally will not be able to attend. I am sad that I will not be able to stand next to my Nana as she mourns the loss of her best friend, but I know that there will be another service at another time where I can celebrate Nancy’s life.
Losing someone is hard, and it is sad that Coronavirus has made the grieving process much more difficult. Although some people will be angry that they cannot gather in large groups, it is for the well-being of everyone, and we cannot be selfish. For me, grieving during this crazy time has been strange, but so has everything else that we are all facing. Together, we can get through anything.