Fetishes You Haven't Heard of and Probably Don't Want to Know

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I would like to share a list of fetishes with you. This article isn’t necessarily meant to act as a suggestion for any new habits you’d like to adopt, but I also won’t tell you what to do with this information. I was talking to my roommate about possible article ideas relating to the upcoming holiday of love and romance. As per usual, when I converse with friends, the subject turned into a joke and we spent far too long discussing the most unusual sexual interests we’d heard of, either from those we knew or just general life. We never did come up with an actual answer for my article inspo, and so it was hours later when I finally had to begin writing that I realized our jokes could serve as inspiration enough. I’ve never been particularly good at writing anything involving super mushy romance, and so I thought this was a good in-between.

I ended up doing quite a bit of research on the topic, and after writing a brief list, I can say that I’ve come out of the experience slightly more scared of people and with an increased appreciation for safe search. If I learned anything from this, it’s that if a concept, idea, or physical thing exists on this plane of reality, someone, somewhere, will be sexually interested in it in some way. This applies even (especially) for things that the majority of the populace would see as incredibly unrelated to sex or attraction in any way. Regardless, I’ve done the research, so you don’t have to. Enjoy this strange, entertaining and slightly disturbing list of compiled unusual fetishes. I promise you there are much stranger and much more disturbing ones available to those willing to brave websites without safe search on, but I wasn’t necessarily in the mood for that when writing this.

  1. 1. Tripsolagnia: Sexual Arousal From Having One’s Hair Shampooed

    Out of all the fetishes on this list, this one makes the most sense to me. I feel that showering can be a slightly erotic experience, especially if another person is involved. The funniest thing about this fetish is that it doesn’t sound like there needs to be another person present for the same feelings to apply. Although I’m sure it works differently for everyone, I believe that for the majority of tripsolagniacs, shampooing their hair goes far beyond general hygiene.

    The thought of cleansing one’s head during the shower isn’t just a way to rid oneself of dandruff or greasy hair but rather a possibly arousing experience. It wasn’t made very clear whether or not these feelings came more from the head massage aspect or the shampoo itself. It also got me wondering if the brand of shampoo made any difference. For example, does Old Spice shampoo somehow embody sexier vibes than that of Dove? Regardless, I’m sure these people tend to be very clean.

  2. 2. Climacophilia: Sexual Arousal From Seeing Someone Fall Down the Stairs

    Ok, so this one isn’t amazing. When looked at on a slightly deeper level, there are definitely aspects of this that are morally concerning. However, from a surface level view, there’s something very entertaining about seeing a slapstick style collapse down the stairs, and rather than feel concerned on that person’s behalf, they simply pop a boner. I’m not completely sure if it’s the physical act of the fall or the physical damage that results from it that triggers the strange attraction. For the sake of my continued faith in humanity, I will choose to believe the former.

    I also wonder if the type of stairs makes any particular difference. Does hardwood flooring rather than carpeting increase or decrease the sexual appeal? This fetish incites so many questions in me, and I’m not sure I want all/any of them answered. All I can say for certain is that watching Tom and Jerry and other violent and other slapstick style shows would make for a very different experience.

  3. 3. Kleptolagnia: Sexual Arousal or Attraction to Stealing Things

    person holding $100 Dollar bills

    This one also makes more sense to me than some of the others. This is not to say that I’m going to start getting off by shoplifting at Target. However, I could see how the thrill associated with breaking the law would be more exciting than, say, shampooing one’s hair or watching someone fall down the stairs. Generally, the more expensive/valuable the item, the higher the risk of stealing and the more intense the rush it would produce within a given individual. I suppose that would make grabbing an iPhone off the shelves much more sexually gratifying than a bag of kettle corn, although Sitophilia (sexual arousal with the usage of food products) would say differently.

  4. 4. Chremastistophilia: Sexual Arousal From Being Robbed/Stolen From 

    This one I included because it is in direct contrast to Kleptolagnia. While some people get their kicks from stealing things, others may fantasize about someone stealing from them. For the majority of people, a robber appearing in the middle of the night and demanding money would be a nightmare. However, for people with this particular fetish, it may be more like a dream come true. As much as we may hear the term “relationship goals” on social media and in real life, I feel that a couple with someone who enjoys kleptolagnia and one with chremastistophilia would be an absolute match made in heaven.

  5. 5. Nasolingus: Arousal From Sucking on People’s Noses

    To be completely honest with you, I don’t even know what to say about this one. I saw it offhand on a website and decided to dig a bit deeper. I can now say that I officially regret this decision. In fact, doing so has made me feel a bit strange about deciding to even write this article, and so, I will make this the last one on the list. As much as I agree people are beautiful and every part of them should be appreciated, the nose is not one I would first choose to bring up in any sexual context but more power to those interested in this.

    They have a unique focus, and although I’m not completely sure how one goes about becoming aware of this particular arousing task, it does mean they’ve lived an interesting life. All I can really say is that the Pinocchio movie is probably soft porn and that Voldemort is one of the least appealing characters.

I’m still not completely sure as to why I decided to write this article. Valentine’s day is a holiday to love and appreciate those around, whether this be a romantic partner or simply the friends and family in your life. In my mind, it is a wholesome day that deserves some level of recognition. That being said, some of the specific interests on this list probably don’t deserve the same. However, I enjoyed learning a few new things and can only hope that it doesn’t result in me developing any equally strange new habits of my own. I wish you all the same and hope that you have a good Valentine’s Day.