Whether it be a particularly long dry spell in between lovers or perhaps just a particularly long day of class, the dildo can be a woman’s best friend.
The dildo is faithful.
The dildo is loyal.
The dildo isn’t going to send you a half-baked “u up?” text at 3 a.m.
The dildo isn’t going to cheat on you with your roommate at a 2014 Halloween party, dressed up as Richard Nixon while your roommate was slutty Thomas the Tank Engine.
However, sometimes, most women don’t exactly have the finances to supply dildo habit over the years and must Macgyver their own dildos with easily obtainable, household objects.
This is a list of things that should not be used in place of a dildo
1.This Lego Banana
It is not ribbed for your pleasure. 2. This Harry Potter Wand
Avada Ke-don’t
3. This Cactus Penis
Despite it’s tempting shape, your vagina will regret it.
4. It’s a Dill-do.
Also fun-fact it yodels.
5. This Inflatable Cat Unicorn Horn
It’s for a different type of p*ssy
6. This Rockwall
I’d honestly be impressed if someone were truly this ambitious.
7. A Curling Iron
Probably be for external use only.
8. I would say everything but the kitchen sink, but that’s on here too.
9. This Baby Carrot
Merely because it probably looks like Trump’s penis.
So I hope that this reassured you that these terrible dildos are terrible. Remember if it’s not a dildo, you probably shouldn’t use it as one. Stay safe, lovelies and have a marvelous sex week!