*This article was written by a member of the Her Campus VCU Staff, but names have been withheld to protect the privacy of the writer*
There’s a difference between an open and honest discussion regarding your questions about someone’s sexual identity and simply being offensive and nosy. In a time of increased awareness of the LGBTQIA+ community, there are more opportunities for you to educate yourself on a different lifestyle than your own. Questions are fine and might even be encouraged by some folks, but the prodding, intrusive and disrespectful comments or questions are damaging to the gay and straight alliance. I feel that there is less of an excuse in this day and age to blurt out offensive remarks such as these. It might behoove you to familiarize yourself with the some things that bisexual girls hear time and time again, and think before treating a member of the LGBTQIA+ community like your personal encyclopedia for weird questions.
1. “You just want to hook up with everybody.”
This is not necessarily true. While many bisexuals go through experimental phases, to simply rule off a sexual orientation to a mere desire to have a lot of sex is incorrect and self-righteous.
2. “You’ll pick one or the other eventually.”
It is my personal belief that sexuality is a spectrum and not black vs. white or boys vs. girls. So maybe I will pick “one” or “the other”. Maybe not, who cares?
3. “Bisexuality isn’t real.”
While I could go deeper into how deeply I disagree with that statement, I will simply say that the complete disregard for my sexuality and the way I perceive myself is very disrespectful.
4. “I couldn’t be with a girl, it’s too much drama.”
If only I could decide upon my sexual orientation based on what was going to make my life the easiest. What an interesting notion.
5. “I couldn’t be bi, I love boys too much.”
Good for you. Boys are great, but that’s your choice, now respect mine.
6. How many threesomes have you been in?
This is a pretty gross and intrusive question. Why would you assume I’ve been in a lot of threesomes? Or any? How many threesomes have you been in?!
7. You just haven’t found the right guy/girl to make you pick a team.
Maybe, but this aligns with the age old argument about whether or not you’re ready to “settle down” and with who. Maybe I’ll marry a guy, maybe I’ll marry a girl. The beauty is that it’s my choice
That being said, I welcome open and intelligent discussions. We’re all just trying to figure ourselves out, so I will allow you to educate yourself if you allow me a little privacy and respect in your curiosity. After all, we might have different romantic attractions but we’re all still human.