Residential choices can be hard to make, especially during this housing crisis. You could live by yourself and possibly pay a “fortune,” but choosing to have roommates is usually the better option for your wallet. Roommate options include random alternatives and living with close friends. Disagreements can occur around both little and large things between roommates. Here’s how you deal with these trials and tribulations all while staying sane.
- Establish strict rules
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It’s so critical to establish zero-tolerance rules with whoever you’re living with. This can look like setting up certain cleaning principles or guest boundaries. You may not agree on things at first, but this is where balance and compromise come into play. Does your roommate like cooking, or cleaning more? Figure these things out. At the end of the day, sticking to common ground rules will help reduce conflicts, according to Biola University.
- Maybe it’s not you, it’s them
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Don’t forget that most of the time whatever your roommate is going through has nothing to do with you. You can only help people so much—sometimes all you can do is just be patient with them. Do what you have to do, and let them do their own thing until their decisions directly affect you.
- Don’t escape from your space
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When you are going through rough times with roommates, you may tend to escape your space. Finding any reason to not be in your apartment: picking up a shift, constantly running errands or always making plans with friends. I personally can relate to this coping mechanism of avoiding and distracting myself from stressful things. Communicating your worries is key. Don’t let anyone take your safe space away—reclaim it.
- Always look out for yourself
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Standing up for yourself is a key skill to develop, according to Self Care Fundamentals. Try to be patient with whoever you’re living with but also look out for yourself at all times. Confrontations can be scary whether you personally know your roommate or not, and most of the time, it might seem easier to just let things be.
- Remember, this is temporary
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You won’t be in this living situation forever; this is a fact. Most of us are in our early 20s and can forget that we have so much more life ahead of us. With every tribulation comes a lesson learned for your adulthood. This is a reminder that leases end and contracts can be broken.
There is no secret recipe to finding the “perfect” roommate. Living with unstable roommates can be very taxing, but almost everyone will have to do it at some point in their life. Not every experience will be horrible, but it’s good to be mentally prepared if things do go downhill with flatmates.