As I’m sure all of you know, TikTok was banned in the United States…and resurrected not even 24 hours later. This revival is thanks to President Donald Trump, which is ironic given his 2020 uproar over the platform. But that’s not my point.
Although it pains me to say, my mom was right. Like many others, my mom loves to tell me that I’m addicted to my phone. In the countless times that she’s told me this I always respond with laughter or by telling her that she’s being ridiculous. Sure, I use my phone frequently, but what teenager doesn’t? Throwing around a term as serious as addiction seems like a little much over a cellphone. Right? It wasn’t until the week after the ban that I realized I was wrong.
Like many, TikTok has been my most used app. I spent 1 to 2.5 hours per day using the app, constituting the largest percentage of my screen time by far. I spent an average of 5.5 hours on my phone daily, and TikTok was my main constituent. Obviously, I knew this was a problem, but I still couldn’t convince myself to delete the app. So, when the app was banned on January 18, I was excited to see how this would impact me, and when TikTok was brought back the next day, I decided to stick out the challenge.
It’s been a couple of weeks since I stopped using TikTok and I’ve come to realize that I was 100% addicted. My subconscious reliance on it was far more significant than I thought. I’d go to open the app without even realizing it or try to search things on the app instead of through Google. At one point I even told my roommate, “All I want to do is go on TikTok right now,” as if it was a substance I was experiencing withdrawals from. It’s both comical and frightening. To think that a mindless social media app could have such a grasp on me is wild. However, I don’t regret my decision. Since I stopped using the app, my screen time has decreased significantly. I even open my phone less frequently, suggesting TikTok was the only thing I was reaching for. I’ve been on top of my homework, done chores promptly, and indulged more in reading. I actually have time for things because I haven’t wasted it all on TikTok. Most notably, I’ve felt far less self-conscious. As much as I appreciated TikTok as a place to watch funny videos or for fashion inspiration, it hurt my self-confidence. It was so easy to get wrapped up comparing my life to people online, but cutting out the app has minimized this feeling.
Although the term “addiction” may seem too bold to use when talking about social media consumption, it isn’t as far off as one might think. An article published by Stanford Medicine in 2021 discussed how dopamine is released in our brains while using social media in the same way that an addictive substance, like heroin or alcohol, does. Consequently, excessive app use only strengthens the feeling, like a drug. This can contribute to a lack of productivity and heightened symptoms of depression or anxiety. Spending less time on TikTok or deleting it altogether can minimize the negative impacts you encounter.
For the record, I still have TikTok on my phone. I couldn’t bring myself to delete it, another reminder of its absurd hold on me. I’d argue part of this is for nostalgic reasons. I’ve had TikTok since fifth grade when it was still Musical.ly. There are years of videos with my family and friends, drafted and posted that show me growing up. I’m sure I’ll want to look back on them in the future and don’t want them to disappear if I delete the app. But, on the other hand, this could also just be further proof of my addiction and my unwillingness to let go of the platform.
I’m not here to tell anyone they should delete TikTok or bash people for using it. I’m simply here to share what I have learned since making a change that was a long time coming. So far, I’m happy to have made the decision I did, but I can’t promise it is permanent. My feelings now may not match my feelings in the future, but for now, I will ride out my hiatus and see what’s next.