When I think about everything I’ve been able to do throughout my undergraduate career, I really can’t believe it. I’ve met people who I know will be lifelong friends, traveled around the world, started my own business, survived a global pandemic, and challenged myself more than I ever have before.
And as I reflect on all of this, and as the light goes out on my four years at Vanderbilt, I wanted to share the top three lessons I’ve learned in college that I know I will carry forever.
- Know what regret feels like – and make sure to avoid it
I think everyone has heard people say “live life with no regrets” before, but few people really grasp what that means. It means embrace being uncomfortable. Accept the fact that every big idea won’t end in success. Know that every person you reach out to won’t always answer. Living life with no regrets means knowing that all of these negative outcomes are an option and moving forward anyway, in hope of the positive outcome. When you think back on your college years, you don’t want to think about that one person or moment that got away. You want to be able to feel peace knowing that everything that was within your ability, you went for, no matter what the end result was. The feeling of regret is so unpleasant to us because we know that once these moments pass, we can never get them back or truly recreate them. And so don’t let that feeling of regret fall on you.
- Say yes more than you say no
Before coming to Vanderbilt, I made a pledge to my introverted, only too happy to be alone self, that I would make an overt effort to put myself out there, whether it came to friends, professional opportunities, or events. It is so easy to become a permanent resident of your comfort zone, unwilling to venture outside the confines of your life that you drew for yourself. But some of my most surprising and rewarding experiences throughout college have come from me stepping outside of the lines and making choices that made the least amount of sense. Like deciding to go on a week-long Alternative Spring Break trip with total strangers during my freshman year and having an amazing time. Or having a crazy business idea as someone with zero business experience and deciding to go for it anyway, a decision that ended up with me being a a top 10 business competition finalist from a pool of hundreds of other applicants. Saying yes more than you say no is about letting go of your worries and realizing that every decision in your life doesn’t have to make sense. It just has to feel right.
- Build a trusted inner circle
In college, you meet a lot of people. And while a lot of these people can become your friends, not everyone needs to be your closest friend. When I look at my Snapchat memories from freshman year compared to now, the difference in who shows up in my pictures is almost funny. And it makes sense, right? Freshman year was total immersion, hundreds of students from around the world descending on one campus for the first time. We became friends with the first people we met, and latched on to them until the summer. And then the purge came, and what was once such a large social circle, thinned out, and continued to do so until senior year. Throughout your years in college, it’s important to watch who remains in your inner circle. Too many times we hear stories of someone left alone on Broadway while their friends are safely in their dorm, or stories of people who fell into the wrong habits or ideologies because of the people in their circle. College is such a great opportunity to interact with new people and challenge your perceptions toward different issues. But it can also be the site of your fall from grace if you are not careful. As you trek through your years of undergrad, make sure your inner circle is made up of people who you trust, who you know have your back, and who will be there when you call. College is hard enough – make sure the people you hang out with don’t make it harder.
Bonus tip – make sure you have fun! Go to that concert. Try out that new restaurant (Velvet Taco, you surprised me!). Lay out in Centennial Park and soak up the sun. Good grades are good, but not at the expense of your mental health and college experience. There can be balance in everything – you just have to take the time to find it.