No one wants to be the “jealous type”, but as any collegiette knows, it’s easy to overstep boundaries, especially when you feel like you don’t know the whole story. This can come in the form of a late-night text from an old fling, a casual Facebook wall post, or an up-and-down look from a random stranger. Even if you are completely secure in your relationship, it’s hard not to be affected by these invasions on what is rightfully yours. Some girls become passive-aggressive in these situations, and others attack their significant others without knowing all the details. Here are some helpful tips on handling questionable situations:
mso-fareast-font-family:”Times New Roman”‘>1. You know what they say when you assume…
Imagine this scenario: He goes to the bathroom and leaves you and his phone in his room. You casually notice that an ex-fling texted him. Here’s what not to do:
– Go through his phone/text her from his phone
– Assume he’s been responding
– Assume he’s at all still involved with her
– Assume that the interaction is in any way his fault
– Go into jealous girl mode and send her strongly-worded texts
Here’s what to do instead:
– The next time you are sitting down together, bring it up nonchalantly: “Hey babe, I saw that (insert annoying girl’s name here) texted you, do you know why?” Don’t do this when he’s stressed or in a hurry, or when you’ve already been having a serious discussion, because you don’t want to seem like you’re attacking him.
– Discuss ways to prevent this from happening: Should he text her telling her that he is in a relationship and does not feel comfortable talking to her? Should you ignore it for now? Should you take action? Although an immediate reaction may be to delete her number, I suggest that you don’t – that way, next time he gets an anonymous “heyyyyy :]” at 2 am, he won’t have any reason to respond (for example, to ask who it is/confuse it with you).
mso-fareast-font-family:”Times New Roman”‘>2. “Don’t make eye contact!”
Now picture this: You and your guy are out on the town together, and he’s wearing the shirt you bought him for Christmas (which happens to make his arms look like G.I. Joe). All of a sudden, you realize that your arm candy has a few not-so-secret admirers. It’s dark and loud, and girls keep “accidentally” bumping their way into him.
What not to do:
– Freak out at him. Boy can’t help it if they’re hot
– Start a cat-fight
-Get self-conscious and ask him if he finds those girls attractive
What to do:
– If there’s ever a time to pull out your sexy vixen alter ego, that time is now. Focus on having fun with your guy, and girls will feel an invisible fence around him that they won’t be able to get through.
– Make fun of the situation. It’s easy to try to fall for the games those girls are trying to play, but if you can stay cool, calm, and confident in that kind of situation, he’ll know you’re a definite keeper.
mso-fareast-font-family:”Times New Roman”‘>3. In the event that you’re the other girl…
Ladies, ladies, ladies. I know it’s tragic, but sometimes our exes/guy friends suddenly become Channing Tatum as soon as they have girlfriends, and you become desperate for their attention. Although you may have the mentality that since he’s not married, he’s still technically single, you have to respect the relationship that he’s in. If you’ve dated him before, you broke up for a reason, and that reason would probably still exist if you were to break his new relationship up and get back together. Everything happens for a reason, and this is especially true of college relationships. Don’t hate her for having him – find someone that makes you happy the first time around.
What not to do:
– Suggestively text a taken guy. Would you want someone doing that to you?
– Flirt openly with random hot guys when you know they have girlfriends. This is just a matter of respect, both for you and for the guy.
– Hold out for someone who is in a relationship. Chances are, if you were supposed to be together at some point, you would have been. Chances also are that there is someone who is much better suited for you out there somewhere, and it’s only a matter of time before you find each other.
The moral of the story is: If you’re in a relationship, put your trust in the commitment and love that brought you together. Do not let jealous or disrespectful girls lead you to behave in a way that would jeopardize your relationship – that is simply proving their point. Use these scenarios as a way for you to grow and mature as a couple. There will come times in your relationship that both of you will be pursued by outsiders; don’t perceive this as a threat but instead as a testament to your good taste. If you have eyes for a taken guy, put them away – they are only destructive. If it’s his relationship that’s destructive, be a friend to him through the process – it probably won’t last, and your strong character and composure throughout that time will be a much more solid foundation for a new relationship than late-night texts that read: “Heyyyy :]]”. It’s a matter of respect. It may be hard to want what you can’t have, but sometimes it’s even harder to realize that the right thing may be right under your feet. Sometimes the grass is just as green right where you are.