In honor of Black History Month back home, I decided to write something about what it’s like as a mixed woman living in Europe and some observations I’ve had during my short time here.
Being a small country in Northern Europe, Denmark has a pretty homogenous population. Tall, blonde, and beautiful is the stereotype attached to Danes, and let’s just say it’s been proven true more times than not. And then there’s me, with my black curly hair and olive-tone skin. Put simply, when I find myself sitting around a table with a group of Danes, I can’t help but notice the differences. I’ve had teachers say that many Danes can pick out Americans by the way we walk and carry ourselves, but I think my physical appearance undoubtedly clues them. When I walk down the street, I get the feeling that people know I’m not Danish. People don’t seem to know exactly where I’m from, but their certain it’s not Denmark.
It’s not surprising that these aren’t experiences or feelings with which I’m unfamiliar. My whole life has been a constant struggle of navigating life as a young woman of mixed background. I’ve had people ask if I was from Egypt, Spain, and Peru. And I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had that go as follows:
“Where are you from?”
Back home, I’d respond “Ohio.”
“No, but where are you really from? You know, your family.”
Constantly having to reaffirm how I belong to the only country I’ve ever known as home can be irritating some days, and blasé on others. The other week I spoke to a native Dane who expressed similar feelings. As with me, if you took one look at him you’d immediately wonder how he came to Denmark and his family history, because in many ways, he is not your typical Dane as far as appearance is concerned. My conversation with him made me think a lot about what it means to be and look American. Interestingly, if I respond “the United States” to the same question above, there is no follow-up inquiry. After wrestling with this question all night, I realized how impossible it was to point to one person, or a handful of physical attributes as what is “quintessentially American”.
My short time here has already shown me many things that US could be doing better, like implementing more social welfare programs and being more environmentally friendly, which European countries have been doing for years. But something that will always give me pride about being an American is the overwhelming diversity within our borders. Being American is an attitude, not a particular set of physical attributes. The mixing of cultures has been fundamental to American society, and it’s something Denmark and its neighbors are learning how to embrace. But diversification, like growing pains, are slow despite their forward-moving progress.
I’m thinking about all of this as I head home for the evening. I stop in a convenience store at the train station, because my chocolate cravings are calling me, and M&Ms always seem to taste a bit like home. As I’m waiting for my train, a party of school children rush by me. The blatant metaphor is impossible not to use, I think, as I munch on my M&Ms. Despite their various colors, they’re all the same on the inside. And they all taste great to me.