Before I became sexually active, I use to watch movies and television shows with sex scenes where the woman would always climax after foreplay or sex. So when I started to become sexually active and I didn’t achieve orgasm, I was always left confused and frustrated. Foreplay wasn’t doing it for me and I definitely wasn’t ready to have sex.
It was when I read an article in Cosmopolitan magazine about self pleasure tips and tricks. This article was the ultimate guide to me achieving an orgasm and boy did it do wonders. I took what I had learned to the bedroom with guys, but for some reason it wasn’t doing anything. So I had took a step back and looked at the guys I was hooking up with. I had realized I was hooking up with guys who weren’t boyfriend material (guys who didn’t meet my standards).
I thought maybe getting with/ hooking up with a guy who met my standards I would achieve orgasm. So when I met a few decent guys and told them my frustrations about not achieving orgasm, almost all of them had fed me with “I always make a girl cum by doing (a specific sexual act), it never fails.” So when I would get down to business with these guys, their specific sexual act, their “special move” that NEVER failed… failed! I was forced to take another step back and look at what the problem was.
After some hard thinking, I had realized that my problem was me feeling weird orgasming in front of a guy. I was so use to being alone when I reached orgasm, the feeling of someone there made me feel weird. But I still wanted the help of a guy to get me there, so I tried phone sex.
Being a huge lover of dirty talking, I thought I would enjoy it. Me touching myself and the sound the guy’s voice ( and with him not physically being there) was the perfect combination… or so I thought. Almost with every guy, it took them five minutes into the phone sex to ask me, “are you almost there yet?” or “are you close to cumming?” And I had kept on being asked those questions every five minutes. I had felt like these guys had something else to do because I had felt hella rushed and hella pressured to orgasm, which made me hella dry. Around 15 minutes when I got asked the same questions again, and would respond with a “no”, I could hear the annoyance in the guys’ voice. That’s when I just faked it. I would scream out in fake pleasure every single time I was having phone sex with a guy. I would then get off the phone and finish off by myself, because at that point I had come up with the conclusion… no one does me, better than me.
This had become my regular routine. If a guy was turning me off by asking me if I was close to cumming, I’d fake it. If my phone was close to dying, I’d fake it. If I needed to go to bed to be up early the next morning, I’d fake it. It was all good. I would feed these guys’ egos so they wouldn’t feel unmanly for not making a woman cum and I eventually got mines once I would get off the phone and finish up myself. But then I thought, “Wow! I’m really going out of my way to feed these guys’ egos just so they won’t feel bad about themselves.”
I had then made a promise to myself that I would be totally up front with my sexual partners because I am not one to feed egos. If a guy wasn’t sexually satisfying me, I would tell him straight up, and then we would proceed to talk out what was working and what wasn’t working so we could BOTH feel satisfied.
– HCXO!