It’s in college that many women struggle for the first time to cultivate true friendships and deal with life-long friendships coming to an end. As you get older, curating a group of friends becomes tougher and tougher, and keeping up with old friends from miles away becomes an art form. Honestly, being a friend gets hard.
Despite all of this, building up a strong network of ladies you identify with becomes even more important once you get in to college and out in the adult world. Everyone knows the importance of networking, but what about the value of a strong group of women cheering you on and inspiring you?
I went off to college with my boyfriend. Freshman year, I lived with a girl who I had been close friends with in high school. I thought I was set, as far as friends went.
In reality, I spent a lot of time alone the first semester. The friend I lived with was single and spreading her wings, and even though my boyfriend and I were going strong, I was lonely without another girl to relate to.
I had ended high school with a tight group of girlfriends, but my closest friend had gotten distant after a long-term relationship with a mutual friend went sour, and two other girlfriends went to school together a couple of hours away—one had just broken off a relationship with my boyfriend’s best friend, who went to college with us. The fourth friend married a marine and moved to Connecticut. Things were not going well in the friend department, but I was too shy and too comfortable in my relationship to break out of my shell and find anyone else.
By second semester I was suffering. A chance lab partner in my astronomy survey class was my saving grace, leaving me with a new friend who just so happened to share my major. Around the same time, my roommate started staying in again. I remembered what it was like to have girls to talk to, and I wanted more.
Sometime during the semester, I reconnected with the friend who had gotten distant, and I decided I was going to take time to cultivate the relationships I had with her and my other girlfriends. Over the summer, we all had a great time together (though one of my friends spent half of her summer at camp states away). We started a group message where we would update each other on our lives, rant about our days, and celebrate our successes. Starting the new year was not so scary. I had gotten involved with the school newspaper; I had a strong group of women encouraging me.
Something I never expected happened. My roommate dropped out, started partying, bringing people over who were untrustworthy and in to drugs. I was afraid to lose a friend from this newly connected circle I had made around myself, but it was clear we weren’t the same anymore. My friends and I who had gone to high school together spent a long time worrying over her—over our friendship, but in the end I had to leave. I still worry about her. I still want to help her, but part of cultivating a good group of friends is realizing when a person wants out.
If I have learned anything from my college experience, it’s that a group of women with similar drive, who are willing to hold each other up instead of tearing each other down, are powerful. I truly believe my friends are some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. As I branch out and meet more goal oriented, driven women I become even more excited for what I can do with them surrounding me. Their success inspires me, and their encouragements comfort me.