Before I get into this article, I want to introduce myself a lil bit.
I’m Marissa! I’m twenty-two years young. I’m from Athens, GA; and I’m a Mass Media major here at Valdosta State University.
I was raised by my mother, who is a beautiful, strong Black women. I remember growing up looking at my mom and admiring the beauty that was passed down to her. Besides my overwhelming amount of admiration for her, she gave me the ability to love openly. While I have male figures in my life, there was nothing like being surrounded by beautiful women. Although I was raised to be a strong woman, I also wanted a strong woman. They gave me butterflies. I liked butterflies. I was too young to really grasp the feelings that ran through my soul, but now I welcome them with open arms. I identify as queer, allowing myself to love freely. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with being queer, even after officially coming out over four years ago.
So, I’ve compiled a list of seven women who have shaped my queerness over those years. I’ll also be stating their age, zodiac sign (‘cause why not?) and a description of how they’ve influenced me.
7. Ambré (Perkins), 23,Virgo
The Holly Grove empress. Ambré’s whole vibe is so beautiful to me. From her sultry vocals to her relaxed style, I stan, endlessly! Her songs about love, freedom and self-image made me feel special and whole as I’ve gone through this journey.
6. SZA (Solana Rowe), 28, Scorpio
The “Glitter Trap” queen. She exudes tomboy realness with hippie vibes. She could walk out the house in a brown paper bag, and I would definitely see the vision (Rihanna as well). She made me realize that I can still be that b*tch in a pair of overalls and Birkenstocks. Plus, I mean look at her…a BEAUTY!
5. Kehlani (Parrish), 24, Taurus
Tsunami Lani. Earthly Goddess. When she splashed onto the scene, I was intrigued by both her masculine and feminine energy and how open she was with her sexuality so early in the game. She preaches love and positivity while being her authentic self. Her reppin’ the LGBTQ+ community so hard made it a lot easier for me to come out when I did.
4. Phylicia Rashad, 71, Gemini
Legendary. Gorgeous. The greatest TV mom EVER. Shortly after officially coming out, I started watching The Cosby Show (random, I know). From then on out, the “perfect” woman was personified in her character as Clair Huxtable (yes, Clair is spelled just like that). I was intrigued by her poise on and off the screen, and I told myself that if I were to meet a woman as poised and intelligent as her, I would be set for life. I’d probably feel underqualified to even be in the presence of such woman, but that’s neither here nor there. Moving right along!
3. Lisa Bonet, 51, Scorpio
Earthy. Chill. Honorary Pygmy (if you get this reference, let’s be friends!). Denise Huxtable’s personality drew me to her, and quite honestly, reminds me of myself in some aspects: we both at one point were college drop-outs, we’re fashionable, and we don’t conform to societal pressures. Lisa is very much like her character. I’m very drawn to people like her: free spirited, full of love and positivity. Those things really make my heart sing. If there could be a mix of Lisa and Phylicia out there within close proximity, a wedding ring will be presented upon arrival.
2. Regina King, 48, Capricorn
Underrated talent. The ultimate cult classic queen. Now, you’re probably thinking “Regina King?”. YES. It wasn’t when she played Dana in Friday, lesha in Poetic Justice or even Shalika in Boyz n the Hood. She sparked my curiosity as Sam Fuller in Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. What was an eight-year-old Marissa watching this movie for? I had to see it ‘cause she caught my attention in the previews. Her role wasn’t glamorous at all actually. Instead she was the masculine no nonsense FBI agent who wasn’t here for the bullsh*t. That energy made me embrace my masculine energy eventually. Maybe it was because she wasn’t as fixated on her beauty as Gracie Hart was, but those eyes…those Hazel eyes, sucked me in. While the #1 woman definitely set off gaydar alarms through my house, Miss King should’ve definitely set them off as well. At one point, that was the only movie I would watch, only to stare at how beautiful she was. All and all, Regina King is a beautiful woman, and besides my attraction to her, I’m very happy that she is finally getting the recognition she truly deserves.
And now for the one woman who REALLY shaped my queerness (perfectly so)…
1. Janet Jackson, 53, Taurus
Empress of Pop. Queen of Music. Damita Bae. Janhova. The Blueprint. The list goes on. Where do I even begin? Janet Jackson was the one who solidified my queer being when I watched a live performance of “Would You Mind?” on YouTube (that performance will CHANGE YOUR LIFE). I didn’t realize that my “obsession” with her was my hormones screaming, “You like women, little one!”. Of course, I’m a definite stan of her music. Her sensuality, grace, humor, intelligence and music gave me hope that I could one day walk in my truth without feeling ashamed of it. I would constantly stare at her in videos, even rewinding the videos just to look at how her eyes sparkled or how she looked so intently at people. She gives me ultimate butterflies. From age ten to now, she’s been the absolute love of my life. Janfam (fan of Janet) 4EVA.
So there you go! I’m here and I’m queer!
With love + openness,
-Marissa Auriell
HCXO!