Often times, we see people give more leeway to relationships than friendships. There are people who get cheated on by their significant other with their friend, but why are we not as forgiving to the friend as we are with the significant other? The answer is simple, we bend the rules and standards for those that give us what we’ve been dying for, a level of intimacy and love that friends are not able to provide us with, standard wise but never to our friends.
We don’t require our friends to cuddle us, give us sweet kisses or pour into us what we lacked growing up from our parents. That’s another conversation for another day, but it is just as vital as this current topic. Our friends are not going to rub our feet after a long day, give us butterflies when we see them, or make love to us. It is vital for your well being to give your significant other the same leeway you give your friends, or else you are bending to boundaries in the name of love, whether it be real or fake.
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Your limits are in place for a reason. They keep you from putting up with shit that you simply shouldn’t put up with, and boundaries are also a form of self-love. With edges that we set up, we teach others how we want to be treated while also protecting our interests. Having boundaries let’s you take care of yourself and helps you to not put too much energy into others. I’m not saying that your significant other and your friends are not different, but what we allow from one party that we wouldn’t allow from our friends should be more regulated. There are apparent differences between the two, as stated previously, but the standards that we set in place should not change because one person makes us feel ways that the other doesn’t. At that point, we are making ourselves smaller to keep one person in our world, and that’s not very healthy for us to do for our own mental space and self-love. My advice is for us all to take a step back and look at why we’re allowing certain things from one party to fly and not the other.
At some point, being too understanding allows you to be disrespected.
-Jelly