How comfortable are you with engaging in full conversations with others who are not in your social group? Our generation has been submerged with the use of technology, it is hard not to wonder if this has hindered our communication skills. Communication and interpersonal intelligence go hand-in-hand. Is our generation the root in the decline of interpersonal intelligence? Throughout our day we interact through means of technology, a form of communication that inadvertently reduces a person to a faceless screen name. This sort of anonymity does not require genuine interactions or control of impulse reactions.
Interpersonal intelligence is defined as the ability to understand and interact effectively with others by means of verbal and non-verbal communication. This intelligence requires the skill of distinguishing sensitivities towards moods, the temperaments of others, and also the capability of entertaining multiple perspectives. When there is room for acceptance of all perspectives, there is room for more understanding, and therefore growth. Initially, our perspective is no more than what we have been conditioned to see. It takes patience to account for perspectives that may contradict to your own.
Some characteristics associated with high interpersonal intelligence include:
- Problem identifier
- Conflict mediator
- Interpreter of both verbal and non-verbal messages
- Aware of own body language
- Mindful of what is said and how it is said
- Incorporates each perspective
Although communication skills are subconsciously developed throughout life, there is still room for practice. Skills associated with interpersonal intelligence are skills we engage in everyday of our lives. Here are a few areas that may be improved:
- Body Language – Maintaining control over non-verbal messages sent may not be as easy as controlling verbal. When monitoring non-verbal messages, what may be perceived of the message by others must be taken into account. For example, facial expressions depicting disagreement may offend others if a consensus of agreeing to disagree is not expressed.
- Reflection – It is beneficial to reflect on both one-on-one conversations and group conversations. Analyzing reactions and word choice allow for improvement when addressing conflicts. It is also beneficial to analyze which personalities in the conversation play which role. For example, who is the mediator, who brings comic relief, and who is playing “devil’s advocate.”
- Emotional Awareness – Understanding your own emotions and their effect on behavior and attitudes coincides with both interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligence. The energy you carry is read by others and sets the tone for interaction. For example, a positive energy welcomes positive interactions and frustrates negative energies.
Communication is the key to understanding and without understanding there is no progress. We first start with ourselves, but always remain aware of the bigger picture. –HCXO