Coming from a six-year relationship, dating in college has been one of the most underrated and yet challenging tasks that I have tried to conquer. I went from dating my best friend and being with someone who made me comfortable, understood my every need, and respected every boundary to having to figure out how to show someone new how to love me.
Six years into a relationship, I had prepared myself to be with someone that I had known since middle school. Our relationship had prepared me to be someone that I would marry and spend the rest of my life with. When the relationship ended, and distance got in the way, I realized that I had to start over a lot faster than I was ready to.
Coming out of a long-term relationship that ended so abruptly had not prepared me to meet new people, trust the process of finding someone that was what I was used to or even learning what it was that I liked.
I had gone from thinking about marriage and planning the childish things you think about while playing M.A.S.H on the playground to figuring out how to be single in a matter of days.
Some people can easily move on to the next and under their version of second best, however, I could never let myself let go of what I was used to.
I knew we would always have a relationship and I knew that no matter what their would-be consequences to us going to different college, however, though he was out living his life and meeting girl after girl, I still couldn’t bring myself to even take one guy seriously.
That six-year relationship has hindered me my entire college career. I cannot love the same, think the same, my trust is different, and no one is good enough or somewhere in my mind, the reality is, no one is what I’m used to.
I have entertained and gotten to know all types, shapes, and heights. I’ve had the chance to be with the guy that looks good on paper and I’ve also had the guy that leads to a road of danger, however, regardless of how I may want to let loose and just let life take its course, I never let myself get too comfortable.
I don’t trust easily, and I’d rather be by myself than settle for something that I’m not sure is going to last.
So the fake fantasy they portray on television and in the movies of meeting your sweetheart in college, I’m pretty sure my love is waiting for me when we turn 33.