My Freshman Year

My freshman year of college was based on what I had seen in movies and stories told from my family members in their college days. 

I thought you were supposed to drink and party and hook up with guys, but as soon as I got to school I realized my freshman year would literally include only staying in my room and away from people I wanted nothing to do with.

Don't get me wrong, my freshman year was not just sad and depressing, I did go to a couple of parties and thought about all of the germs that would be swapped each night, but as you can imagine, people get tired of "The Panic and Germaphobe friend" pretty quickly.

So I tried the parties and that was a bust. Alcohol always made me sick and I had never had to drink to know that much because the smell somehow always made me stay away. 

Crossing off my list of college busts, the only thing left to do was to hook up with guys. Long story short I only met two that weren't completely trash until three months later. One guy I swore would be the love of my life, but he sold drugs and never did his homework so that clearly was going nowhere.

He was always horny and I'm still a virgin. He was always high and I like stimulating conversations. Turns out I was into him more than he could mentally be ready for me and looking back that was okay.

Freshman year I ended up meeting a lot of amazing people... but it wasn't until second semester when I started going out to places in my dorm.

I then met this boy and even though I didn't like him, I was also fascinated with the fact that he loved me.

The only problem was he wasn't cute, he was super annoying, he wasn't very funny, and he used hella spit when kissing. Basically, it was a disaster from the jump.

But he would always buy me food and take me places. #NoRegrets

I hate kissing so when he kissed me with that pound of saliva in his mouth...y'all I bit the boy and took off running like I was in 3rd grade again.

So basically now that's why I'm single. 

I have all of the qualities guys just are mentally ready for so I told my mom to scratch the whole "find your soulmate in college thing".

In high school, I had a six-year relationship with a guy who till this day I still don't even know if we really should have been together. 

But my freshman year our cycle of going back and forth was something that never ended even when I was trying to find myself. 

I thought I needed parties and boys with pretty teeth, but in all honesty I was trying to fill a void of being in a new place with new people who I had nothing in common with.


All in all my freshman year taught me how to be me again. I lost friends, gained friends, spoke my mind, scared some people, and only the real survived. 

So to the boy who gave me that awful kiss, I'll see you in class Tuesday and for the love of my freshman life ... I hope you're not in jail somewhere because that would be real crazy.. but kinda not.


Freshman year though it was a bit much, was one of the greatest years of my college career, and for that I will be forever greatful.