Remember when you were a little girl and you couldn’t wait to grow so you could do big girl things like: stay up late at night, watch a PG-13 movie, or wear makeup? Yep, those were the days. When I was a little girl, I wanted so badly wanted to wear makeup. Why? I saw makeup as this magical tool to make me pretty.
I guess you could say I had self-esteem issues when I was little. I begged my mom to allow me to buy makeup of my own, but she gave me a thousand no’s to the thousand times I asked her. She told me to wait until I was sixteen. Sixteen seemed like a lifetime away… considering I was still in elementary school when she told me that.
Fast forward to a couple of years later, I’m in sixth grade. I’m still a long way (but closer) to sixteen and I still want to wear the magical tool called makeup. My mom still hasn’t changed the whole “no makeup till sixteen” rule. So being the hardheaded and disobedient child I was, I went behind my mom’s back and bought a neon colored eye shadow palette from Claire’s. From that point, whenever I went to school I would always put the neon eye shadow on and would take it off before I got home so my mom wouldn’t see. Wearing makeup when I wasn’t supposed to felt so empowering for some strange reason…. Maybe it was because I was a little badass. That eye shadow palette was my magical tool that made me feel pretty…. Until the age of eighteen.
My so called “magical tool” lost its magic. I didn’t feel pretty with neon eyeshadow on my face. In fact I felt like a hooker with cheap clown makeup. I had told my mom about how I wasn’t satisfied with the makeup I had. In response to that she took me makeup shopping where she bought me eyeshadow that went well with my skin tone, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, and foundation. I had not one but five magical tools that had made me feel more beautiful than ever.
I was in love and obsessed with my magical tools. I wouldn’t even leave the house if I didn’t have any makeup on and sometimes I fell asleep with my makeup still on my face. It’s like there was never a time where I wasn’t wearing makeup, even if I was in the shower I still had some makeup on my face that I just couldn’t get off, except for one day…
I got out of the shower and looked in the mirror as usual and had saw someone beautiful. It was me. A bare skinned, natural looking, makeup free me… and I liked the way I looked. That was the day I stopped wearing makeup obsessively. Now, I only wear makeup during special occasions. The only kind of makeup I wear everyday is lipstick and lip gloss.
Even though I rock the whole bare skinned, natural makeup free face… I still like to think of makeup as a magical tool. Makeup wasn’t the magical tool that made me feel pretty. Makeup was the magical tool that helped me realize that I was pretty without it.