As women who learned at a young age that “soul mates” were the epitome of happiness, we’ve spent the majority of our lives searching for that epitome. From sharing Crayons in kindergarten, to chaperoned movie dates in middle school, to accepting that grand prom invitation… All the way to college, where we swear we’ll be sophisticated when it comes to boys (except when tequila is involved).
Unfortunately, we also grew up with Disney princesses whose soul mates are the first boy they kiss, and romantic comedies where he’ll rush to the airport to sing a song he wrote for you (looking at you, Adam).
While all are oh-so dreamy and perfect, they’re also highly unlikely to exist in the real world. Because of this, we’re quick to discard every guy we come in contact with that doesn’t live up to our high Disney-based standards. What we overlook is the needed experience required in order to find that soul mate.
Real life love isn’t like the movies; we have to go through a lot of bad dates and heartbreaks to get to the cherry on top. Here’s four good reasons why dating as many guys you can is actually a good thing:
1) Don’t knock it till you try it. As I have said before, experience is key. This includes the good and the bad. How are you supposed to know what you really like if you don’t test it all out first? Sure, athletes seem like the way to go, but who’s to say that the captain of the robotics team isn’t hilarious too? Who knows, he might even be “The One” and you would have just overlooked him.
2) There’s always a storm before the rainbow. Whether you like it or not, you’re going to get your heartbroken and break hearts. A lot. It’s something we all have to go through. It builds us as a person, and teaches us how important love and relationships really are. You have to eat your dinner before you have dessert.
3) Don’t be quick to marry your first love. Sure, you’ll always remember your first love, and he’ll always be important to you. But we’ve all seen how many high school sweetheart relationships end in divorce. First loves are supposed to be just that: first loves. Not only loves. That’s why we have second and thirds.
4) We must go through the bad to appreciate the good. It’s how we now know just how good we look with straight hair, because that perm was dreadful. Going through multiple relationships, wonderful and wonderfully horrible, helps us really appreciate it when we find the real nugget of gold.
Note: this doesn’t mean date EVERY guy you talk to. Just the ones you want to date, even if you know it won’t amount to anything great. Because really, without the sticks and the stones, how could we know a real jewel when we find one?