Relationships require tough work. Duh. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get over the bumps that divert you. No matter who did what in your relationship, if the two of you have chosen the route of forgiveness it can be hard to get the ball rolling again. It obviously takes a while to get back to the way things were, but it can happen, and when it does, you’ll both come out stronger and better in the end.
1. If you’re on the forgiving end, then forgive.
Whatever he did to you hurt, but you’ve chosen to keep going with your relationship. Only you know if you’ve made the right decision, but regardless, if you’ve decided to move on from it then do so. It’s nearly impossible to move forward if you’re constantly bringing up the past. He’s apologized. You’ve accepted it. Now it’s time to let it go. If that’s something you realize you simply can’t do, then maybe you should assess exactly why you’re still with him.
2. If you’re on the forgiven end, then make up for it.
Don’t think that just because he’s forgiven you, the work is done. He may not hold it over your head, but wounds don’t heal easily. Assure him that you love him and only him, and that he means more to you than a trivial argument or a meaningless fling. Let him know that you’ve learned from your mistakes and you will try harder at the relationship.
3. Cut the tension.
It may be hard because he or you may still harbor some anger, but if it’s absolutely unnecessary, save it for when it’s needed. Right now, the two of you are trying to get back on track; holding a grudge or walking on eggshells is not going to make it any easier on either of you. Hug it out, say “I’m sorry”, suggest makeup sex; whatever it takes to eliminate any animosity left between the two of you. Obviously you should always address problems upfront, but if that’s already been done, don’t keep the tension lingering in the air.
4. Communicate.
Communication is so important. Both of you want to be understood and respected, but it’s hard to get those things without a solid method of communication. The broken stage of a relationship is the stage that requires the most communication. There’s absolutely no way you can get back on the same page if neither of you have communicated what page that is. Talk to him, he loves you. He’ll want to understand.
5. Appreciate your growth.
Realize that what you went through was for a reason, and that if it didn’t break your relationship, it bettered it. Instead of thinking of this experience as a setback, think of it as a development into a stronger bond between the two of you.
Even if the bond didn’t grow, you learned something either way. It’s always important to view mistakes as lessons. Perhaps it was something the two of you needed to go through to learn more about yourselves and each other. And you can’t lose there.