Expectations vs. Reality: Sexting Edition

Looking back on my past relationships, situationships, flings, etc. I was never the one to initiate sexting. So when the guy did initiate it, it would go one or two ways: either I would go along with it or shut it down real quick. But really most of time, I just went along with it because it was just something fun to do. Sexting can be really fun… especially for the one who initiated it! They read your sexy steamy messages and think you’re wearing and doing everything you had described to them. It’s time to get real with these expectations vs reality: sexting edition!

 

 

1. What Are You Wearing?

The initiator’s probably thinking you’re wearing some sexy lingerie, or just a t-shirt with nothing underneath, or they’re probably thinking you’re just completely naked. In reality, you’re not wearing any sexy lingerie because those are for special occasions. But there’s a possibility you actually might be wearing a t-shirt with some comfy baggy pajama bottoms that are not your size. Or you can actually be completely naked because sleeping naked is good for your body and it feels amazing. But for real though, you’re in bed and you’re not trying to look sexy for anybody because there’s no one in bed with you.

 

 

2. What Are You Doing To Yourself?

The initiator is picturing you touching yourself thinking that you wish they were there with you. In reality you’re probably stuffing your mouth with Cheetos and watching Family Guy. You’re also probably laughing as well… at Family Guy and the initiator because they actually think you’re masturbating right now.

 

 

3. SURPRISE!

It was only a matter of time before the initiator sent you an unwanted d*ck pic. I mean, it makes sense because you guys are “sexting” at the moment but you never asked for it. The initiator is probably thinking they made you hornier with their unsolicited d*ck pic. In reality, even if you were really into this sexting exchange, what the hell are you supposed to do with a d*ck pic? Turned on or not, you are left confused and you just missed Stewie trying to kill Lois again. Damn you d*ck pic!

 

 

4. How Turned On Are You?

Because the initiator sent you a pic of their genitals, they’re thinking they probably made you hornier. Not! In reality you’re dry as desert because you’re not even paying attention to this sexting exchange. The only thing wet right now are your eyes right now from laughing at Peter making a fool of himself.

 

 

5. An Unexpected, Unwanted Phone Call

When text messages aren’t enough anymore, the initiator calls you because they want to hear your voice. It sounds sweet but in reality it’s really not. They want to hear how turned on you are so they can get one off. It’s frustrating because it’s taking your attention away from Family Guy. Who cares if you know this episode word from word. Now you have to have phone sex. After about two minutes of hearing your moans, he achieves an orgasm and asked if you achieved yours? In reality, you just faked it!

-HCXO!