We live in a society where men are raised to hold back their tears and never admit to anything that could diminish their masculinity and honestly that’s extremely problematic. The way male victims are treated could stem from childhood patterns of being told to “toughen up” or only being allowed to play with action figures or toy cars. Any emotional expression is shunned.
Double standards are real. We live in a society where women speaking out years after a sexual assault or a domestic violence claim is rendered null and void and men also are ridiculed in the media and by peers for speaking out at any point. So what can we do as a society to make sure men get justice as well? I asked a guy friend about how does domestic violence affect men in our society and he said that Terry Crews’ situation is a good example of people shaming the guy for being abused. In his situation, his peers would say things like he’s too big to be letting someone abuse him or he should’ve defended himself. Those remarks are definitely considered victim shaming when it happens to women, so why is it not the same for men?
The truth of the matter is men ARE victims of domestic violence as well, we just have to realize everyone is capable of experiencing the same injustice, regardless of gender. What we can do as a community is:
- Not push the aggressor role on men so hastily
- Don’t take their claims lightly
- When men say “guys experience this too”, don’t assume they are trying to take away the importance of your situation.
- Open your ears and mind: A cry for help can be subtle.
- Don’t make jokes about it. Domestic violence is not funny
At the end of the day, humans need support and if anyone is in trouble, they deserved to be heard, regardless of what social constructs say.