There are typically three different ways people perceive dating best friends. First they can think “Aww! That’s adorable, good for them.” Others respond with “Ew, I am tired of couples calling each other ‘best friends’.” The third alternative is “There is no such thing. One person either gets friend zoned or they fail making the transition from best buds to love birds.” I understand that not everyone is going to cheer for all of the best friends who are, successfully, dating but I am.
Growing up, I always wondered what the balance of friendship and romance should be in a relationship. I didn’t understand how it all worked. My friends and I used to sit there and go back and forth about all of the possibilities trying to figure out which one we should strive for. Do we go for the one that gives us butterflies? The one that opens car doors? Should we aim for that person we would be content to just sit in a room with? The truth is that there is no golden answer as to which one is right because there is no balance. It’s all mixed together like brownie batter and it just works. When you are dating your best friend, you already have the relationship built before you even gave it a first thought. You don’t have to think about “Does my hair look nice?” or “Will he judge me for eating pizza instead of salad?” because he’s already been there for the days where your hair does everything but cooperate. He was also the one you used to pig out in front of before you knew you “needed” to care.
Some people argue that being in a romantic relationship with someone you can call your best friend doesn’t work out because there is no passion or that it gets lost along the way. As someone who is two years into a best friend relationship, I can vouch for the fact that if it is the right person then the fire does not die. As for others who experience the loss of romance, it may have been your best friend, but you probably shouldn’t have been dating them. So, how do we know? When do we cross the line of being just friends and venture into the terrifying world of being in a relationship? Unfortunately, there is no blanket answer that is right for everybody. I will say, when you are with that person day in and day out and each time he leaves you are counting the seconds to see them again, there’s something special there. If after all of these days spent together, each hug feels like the first one, it’s probably something more. When you look at his face while napping, doing homework, or whatever it may be, you are caught in a trance because he is yours and you are his. This is something worth holding onto and taking the leap into the unkown.
Dating a best friend doesn’t work out for everybody. When it does, you have a relationship that stands out from all others. There is no lying, no cheating, hiding, shaming, because the trust is there. Embarrassment is a thing of the past because he already knew how lame you were before anything real actually began. All of a sudden, when you are dating your best friend, you know without a doubt that at the end of each day he will be there to listen to each empty story. The beginning of each day begins with the excitement to see or talk to one another. Your lives revolve around each other and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Having your best friend be your boyfriend is the same thing as having a normal best friend, just with the added perks of all things boyfriend.
HCXO!