We’ve all had those “the world is ending I’m-never-gonna-get-over-this-guy-or-girl-ever OHHHH how will I live” moment with someone we’ve cut ties with. It happens. Although we can’t stop a breakup from happening, we can be in control of what we do after the breakup. Do we sulk and wait for that person to come back, do we become “just friends”, or do we block, move on, and prosper? Sometimes you never really get over that person, you just manage not being together and hope your heart just magically heals one day. I’m here to tell you you can indeed get over that (once) special guy/girl in your life. It’s possible. The process can be long, painful, and sometimes scary, but it’s for your own good and sometimes their’s too.
1. Face Your Emotions Head On
The first step of healing and moving forward is to admit that you’re hurting. If you’re sweeping your feelings under the rug there’s no way you’re going to completely heal. Acting tough and putting on a facade is nice and all, but eventually you will have to face the truth to take that first step into healing. One day, you’re going to have to sit down and say “it happened, we broke up, it hurts, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Be honest with yourself. You can’t acknowledge something that you act like isn’t there. Self-awareness is key here. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, scream. If you need to vent, vent. Just let it out. Do it everyday if you have to. Let ALL your emotions out during this first step.
2. Keep Yourself Occupied
Whether it’s going out to eat with friends, going to the gym, listening to music, or even sulking while binging a netflix show (I did this and it actually worked, but different strokes for different folks!), do something you enjoy to keep yourself occupied (even if it’s sleeping). You can’t think about your ex if you’re busy, asleep, or focused right? The more you occupy yourself daily, the easier it becomes to enjoy your own company, invest in yourself, and forget about your bum ass ex. Even work on self-love during this time. Try meditating, yoga, or even pick up a god book to read. Focusing on yourself helps refocus your energy on you and not the other person. You’ll soon make them out to be a distant memory.
3. Moving On
WOW, the BIG step. Well, we all knew it had to come eventually, right? Sometimes this is the hardest step because deep down we really don’t want to. Even if the reltionship was toxic, something in us just doesn’t want to. But we know that we have to. Why stay stuck on someone when they’re probably not even thinking of you? You may still love that person (which is perfectly fine!), but that doesn’t mean you have to be with them. And moving on doesn’t necessarily mean to someone else, sometimes it means just with life. Understand shit happens and life happens. You’ll find love again someday and even if you don’t, step 2 made you stronger and equip to be perfectly okay with be alone! This step is gonna hurt like hell, but remember how far you’ve came, wish them the best, and move on to greener pastures. Remember, no matter how much you loved that person, everyone comes and goes. One failed relationship is NOT the end of the world. You’re gonna be FINE!
– hcxo