As a senior with a 18-credit load, my life is pretty chaotic. Between balancing my classes, two different jobs, and the other organizations I’m involved in it’s extremely difficult to meet new people. And not just anyone, guys. Dating in your 20s is supposed to be fun, care-free and easy, but instead I find myself caught in a frenzy filled with anxiety.
I feel like we (us, modern day women) have created an idea in our head of what it’s supposed to be like, and how we are supposed to meet that possible Mr. Right. Whether we are living in a real-life cliché and he’s waiting next to us for his coffee, and a conversation strikes up. Or we are out dancing with our girlfriends on a Friday night, and he buys you a beer while you wait for your order to be taken. If you’re still in school, like me, you’re even scoping out who you’re possibly interested in within your class! Possibly study date, maybe?
Anyway, my main point is that we are extremely busy in our early twenties chasing after our dreams, but that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve love or a relationship. I’m here to break down the dating app that was designed for us— Bumble.
I’m sure we’ve all heard about it, but for those who haven’t, it has been called the “feminist version of Tinder”. With the same mentality of swiping right or left based on one’s pictures and bio, and then starting a conversation when the two of you match. However, Bumble allows women to decide if that conversation is going to happen. The woman is the one who makes the first move, she has 24 hours to decide if she wants to pursue her new match. Otherwise he will disappear. I personally really enjoy this aspect of Bumble because it prevents any creepy messages. We’ve all been there… often times a guy will think his pickup line is funny, or clever, but in reality, it’s just plain weird. Whenever this happens I’m immediately turned off by the guy, and that doesn’t give him a fair chance.
Another great thing with Bumble is that I’m the one who makes the first move. t’s a confidence boost! I love the fact that Bumble forces me to start the conversation if I match with someone because its giving the push that I need to “get out there”. Its strangely rewarding messaging a guy first; I’m challenging the status quo. Society has it backwards thinking that only a guy can make the first move, and Bumble is proving this wrong.
I’ve also found that there are several different types of people on Bumble. Whether its how their profile represents them, how they interact with you through the messaging system, and even when the two of you go out on a date. There is the Bachelor guy, the guy you instantly click with, the one who strings you along, and the guy you’re better off being his friend.
The Bachelor- He is the type of guy who makes dating feel like a constant interview. There is never really a constant flow in conversation, and you feel like it never gets past surface level information. This one time, I was seeing a guy that I had met off of Bumble and it definitely felt like I was a contestant on The Bachelor. A few dates in, and a month past, he had made the decision that he wanted to see other people… telling me a few days after our most recent date. He explained to me that he “hadn’t come to a decision by then.” At first, I was definitely upset but looking back it, he was so professional about something that was supposed to come naturally. It’s as if our 1 on 1 went poorly, so at the rose ceremony he decided he didn’t want to give me a rose. No hard feelings, though.
The Perfect Fit- Hopefully it’s the perfect fit! This is the guy you never run out of things to talk about with. The two of you instantly click, and hit things off right away. He’s the guy who is constantly making you smile at your phone, and have a lot in common with. He’s the guy you meet for drinks, and end up chatting for 5 hours.
The Game Player- Communication between the two of you is sparse, and you never know where he stands. One day the two of you are great, the next you haven’t spoken in two days. He can’t seem to make up his mind whether or not he wants to pursue you. Watch out for these guys because they usually say all the right things… but never do the right thing.
The Friend- This is the guy you meet up with and realize that there really isn’t much of a connection there. The two of you have great conversations, but there’s something missing. You still think highly of him, and neither of you did anything wrong. He’s the guy you’re meant to just be friends with.
These are all my personal opinions formed through my experiences, but definitely something you should keep your eye out for when you are bumbling. Now that I’ve given you my two-cents, you can try it out for yourself! See if this is something you would be interested, and if not, that’s okay too.