With the much anticipated Gilmore Girls revival coming out this year, a lot of articles have been circling the internet about the character Rory’s three boyfriends on the show, and which one of them is the “best” for Rory. All three boyfriends are expected to return for the revival, and the general consensus seems to be that bad boy Jess is the best boyfriend for Rory. This, collegiettes, is completely bonkers. Here’s a myriad of reasons why. Take note: SPOILERS A-PLENTY!
1) The “bad boy” thing is so annoying.
Jess admittedly has a tough upbringing. He was brought up by a single mother after his dad ran out on him when he was just a baby. Oddly enough, that’s exactly the upbringing Rory had, and she’s not a gloomy James Dean wannabe. We all deal with things differently, but Jess never really makes an effort to get it together.
2) He uses the “bad boy” thing as an excuse to be rude to others.
Jess is rude to everyone but the pretty girl he likes. Luke may be tough on him sometimes, but he gave Jess a second chance at life, and it takes Jess two seasons to be even remotely appreciative. Lorelai gives numerous chances and a lot of leeway to date her daughter despite the fact that she doesn’t approve, and he’s nothing but snotty to her. Emily is the most polite we ever see her so as not to embarrass Rory and to make Jess feel comfortable in her home, and he does nothing but scowl and act unappreciatively. And he is borderline monster-like with Dean’s little sister, who has never done anything to him and IS A CHILD. I don’t care how tough your life is — courtesy and respect is something that you give everyone, especially to those who are giving it to you.
3) He’s bails on Rory with no explanation… more than once.
If there’s one thing we can all agree on about Jess, it’s that he’s a runner. When the going gets tough, the Jess gets going in his clunker of a car. He doesn’t take into consideration Rory’s feelings or needs, choosing to leave whenever he wants and pop back into her life whenever he wants (to give her a quick “I love you” for the first time before disappearing again… nice).
4) HE BLURS THE LINES OF CONSENT.
When you have to tell your boyfriend “no” three times and then you still have to push him off of you to get him to stop, it’s time to dump his ass and find someone who respects your boundaries and knows that only an enthusiastic “yes” gives him the green light.
5) He yells at Rory and storms off after he almost rapes her.
Yes, Rory was talking to her ex-boyfriend. But she was upset, she’s crying, and she needed help from the first person she found that she trusted because she felt violated and confused. But Jess is of course super self-centred about it and tries to blow her off. It shows that he really doesn’t care about her feelings, and that he has no clue what almost happened.
6) He gets in fights at school.
Another sign you need to break up with your boyfriend? When he starts beating people up. Remember when Jess gets in a fight at school, and Dean has to break it up? Violent streaks are often indicative of more than just being “misunderstood.” When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
7) All of Rory’s friends and family were concerned about her relationship.
Hear me out. I am all for women making their own decisions in life. But I also really value the opinions of the people I love and respect most. If my parents don’t like him, if my family doesn’t like him, if my friends don’t like him… it might be time to at least take a step back and take a hard look at the relationship.
8) His masculinity is so fragile.
He lets Rory and her family wonder about how he got a black eye, letting them assume the worst, because he can’t admit that a swan attacked him. He has to seem tougher than that. I have personally been attacked by a swan in real life… it’s funny. Just laugh, Jess.
9) Other than books, what did Jess and Rory actually have in common?
When Rory is dating Dean, Jess teases her and asks what she and Dean talk about. I guess he’s trying to hint that he would have more in common with her than Dean does because Dean doesn’t read. But when it comes down to it, Rory and Jess share none of the same interests and values other than reading. Rory loves spending time with her mom and her friends. Jess literally says at one point, “I don’t like anyone else.” Rory likes going to town events and participating. Jess would rather be anywhere else. Rory adores going to school. Again, Jess would rather be anywhere else. So I’d love to pose the same question to Jess — what do you and Rory even talk about? Other than how your relationship isn’t working, and then wordlessly making up so that no one has to apologize.
10) He actively sought out someone who was in a relationship already.
That’s just not cool, people.
Overall, I’d say Jess is Rory’s WORST boyfriend, and I think calling him anything otherwise reinforces some really negative ideas about what dating should be like, especially for the young girls and women who watch the show.
Let us know what you think on our social media, collegiettes!
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