The five love languages, which first gained attention and popularity with Dr. Gary Chapman’s book “The 5 Love Languages,” are five different ways to make someone feel loved. As we all know already, everyone is different. We all experience things in different ways, interpret things differently, see things differently, and (as it turns out) we all have our personalized ways of feeling and communicating love. Knowing someone’s love language can completely change the dynamic in a relationship for the better. So, what are these five languages?
1. Words of Affirmation
People who value words of affirmation put a big focus on verbal communication. They feel valued and loved when they hear, “I love you,” “I appreciate you,” “I think you’re amazing,” and the reasons behind why you feel this way.
2. Acts of Service
Acts of service involve anything you do to help the person you love. People whose primary love language is acts of service feel most loved when you help them with their tasks and chores, and do something kind to lighten their burdens, such as doing the dishes without them having to ask you.
3. Receiving Gifts
People with this love language feel loved when they receive gifts. To them, it shows that you’re thinking of them and want to give them something to make them smile. They like little surprises every now and then. Whether it’s DIY or bought, big or small, a gift is always appreciated.
4. Quality Time
When it comes to feeling loved, people with this love language appreciate it when you spend quality time with them, such as hanging out at home with a movie or going out for a night on the town. They recognize that you’re taking time out of your day specifically for them, and they appreciate it. They feel closer to you with quality time.
5. Physical Touch
People with this love language love giving and receiving hugs, kisses, and high fives. Physical touch comforts them and makes them feel loved. Anything from little playful pokes to long embraces solidify your special connection and make your bond stronger.
So why is knowing a partner’s love language important? In any relationship, it’s imperative that both parties feel loved, otherwise integral problems arise with no tangible solutions unless the love languages are understood. For example, someone who values words of affirmation may try to communicate their love through words instead of actions to someone who feels love through acts of service. Eventually, the latter person may argue, “I don’t feel like you love me,” leaving the former confused because they didn’t realize their differing love languages. Love languages help you understand and strengthen your relationship. This Valentine’s Day, take a quiz and find out your love languages together. Learn more about each other, and about how to communicate your love.