It’s strange to see people I went to high school with having kids and getting married in their early 20s. The same people I used to share homework answers with and form studying groups with are now starting the next chapter of their lives and heading on completely different paths than me. Of course, everyone has their own path and goals in life, but seeing others reach new milestones on social media often makes it feel like I should be further along by now. Being in your 20s is a weird mix of freedom and pressure. On one hand, I want to dedicate my 20s to being free and simply living my life, but on the other, it feels like there’s an invisible countdown I can’t escape from. It’s like I’m trying to figure out my own path while still checking to see if I’m keeping up with everyone else’s.
After high school, there’s an almost unspoken expectation to earn a degree, start a career, get married and start a family as quickly as possible. So far, I have not checked off any of these, and I’m only close to finishing my bachelor’s degree. I see many people around my age check off one or more items on this list, whether it’s influencers, celebrities, or people from my own hometown. Achieving any of these is impressive and worth celebrating, but seeing so many others being successful at a young age can be tough. The truth is, life does not have a deadline. I constantly remind myself that I will one day be successful, but just in a different way than everyone else, and that is completely okay.
The idea of having everything figured out in your 20s is extremely unrealistic. I have changed my life plans so many times that I’ve lost count. Each time I have a new plan, something changes. I would either realize that I did not like what I was doing or wish I had chosen another direction altogether, but each time I learned something new about myself. Right now, I’m focusing on figuring out what works for me and learning from my mistakes. It is tempting to compare myself to others, especially those who have already started a family or have successful careers. I’m learning that my journey is my own, though, and that there is no right or wrong way to experience your 20s.
Ultimately, my 20s are about exploring, making mistakes and learning. Each time I have switched gears and selected a new direction, I felt excited to picture how my life would end up if I stayed on that path. I may not have it all figured out yet, but I am slowly but surely building my own version of success.