Taking a step away from social media has been a long professed solution to those who feel that the toxicity of the platforms affect them negatively, and I definitely advocate for this; especially when it becomes hard to remind ourselves that the pictures we see are only the surface, and that they do not portray accurate depictions of that person’s life and strife. Social media makes it pretty difficult for us to have any other definition of success besides big houses, lots of vacations, and having a thin/fit body. If these are your definitions of success, that’s okay! No judgement here. But when our feeds are constantly flooded with these strict and restrictive types of success and we find that we’re unable to think of other definitions, that’s when it becomes problematic.
In addition to taking a break from social media, something else that I think is important to do to combat the rigidity that social media has us believe in when it comes to definitions of success is to get out a pen and paper, or pull up a fresh Word doc on your computer, and write down what success means or looks like to you. Be as creative as you like, and be gentle on yourself; it may take a while to get away from the Instagram definitions that get shoved down our throats.
If you’re having trouble starting your list, think of ways to expand on the first social media definition of success: big houses. For you and your own definition, does being successful mean having a house with a yard? A house with an office space? Perhaps a luscious garden or a few house plants are what you consider a successful home. Or maybe even just an apartment, a little place to call your own.
With vacations, social media often shows us the expensive resorts, jet planes, and pristine, ideal beaches. But maybe your definition of a successful vacation is a road trip, a little cottage, or camping. Maybe it’s the goal to hike all the trails in your region, rather than traveling all over the globe. And perhaps your definition of success is traveling all over the globe, getting to experience other cultures, cuisines, and the wonders of the world.
For our bodies, maybe your definition of success is just to have a healthy, positive relationship with yourself. Maybe it’s the ability to run a 5k marathon. Maybe it’s having/adopting/fostering children, or having no children at all! Perhaps your definition of bodily success is to be covered in tattoos, or unapologetically express yourself through your fashion choices.
You’ll quickly realize that once you begin this list and can move beyond social media’s definitions of success that you’ll soon have several pages. Once you think about it, things will pop into your mind.
Your definition of success might be achieving a high-profile position in your career or creating art by beading, crocheting, and painting. It can be having a pet, getting married, or living by yourself. The possibilities are truly endless. Our ideas of living a successful life don’t need to be determined by those around us. As long as our definitions don’t bring or cause harm to anyone else, any idea of success is perfectly acceptable. And remember, our lists can grow, shrink, and change as we also evolve and change with new experiences – keep adding to that list! You’ll be amazed at the things you discover that make you feel like you lead a successful life.
So, what’s your definition of success?