Mental illness is something many people suffer from, anxiety being one of the more common mental illnesses. Anxiety affects many people and not just those who have it, but also those around them. For me, accepting my anxiety was the hardest part. I have lived with it for so long that I didn’t even realize that it was different until others started noticing it. And it wasn’t until it started actually affecting my everyday life that I acknowledged it and began being able to deal with it. But this isn’t about me; it’s about the people who my anxiety affects.
To the person who I cancelled plans with last minute last week:
I am sorry for giving you a made up, sad excuse of a reason for not being able to go see that movie with you. I had every intention of going when we made the plans but my anxiety has different ideas. I really wish that I could ignore it, but for my mental health it was best for me to spend the night in. Thank you for understanding and please don’t let this stop you from making plans with me in the future.
To the person who I walked past on campus and I pretended not to notice:
I am sorry. I wasn’t trying to ignore it, and it’s nothing that you did, but small talk conversations while passing by is not something that my anxiety handles very well. Thank you for not taking it personally and please don’t let this stop you from saying hi to me when we see each other.
To the person who doesn’t know I have anxiety:
I’m sorry that I’m not the most open about it. Some people are and I admire them for that. However, I’m actually pretty self conscious about it and it may take some time for you to notice it or for me to open up to you about it.
To the person who witnessed me having an anxiety attack:
I won’t apologize because I can’t control it. I wasn’t just upset and nothing necessarily brought it on. That’s the problem with General Anxiety Disorder. Please don’t let that change anything between us.
To the person that told me I don’t need medication:
Please don’t try to tell me how I should handle my health. If you have a headache, you can choose to take an Advil. Why should anxiety be any different? Everyone handles their mental illness differently.
To the person who told me to “just calm down” and that I worry too much:
You’re right: I do worry about a lot of things. I’m sorry that my worries bother you so much. I try to keep myself calm and I am trying to deal with my anxiety. Please be patient with me.
To the person who I am afraid to have a relationship with:
I’m sorry. I’m trying. If you’re patient with me, I will try my best to make this happen, but if you can’t, I understand.
To the friend who stopped hanging out with me because it was too stressful for them:
I’m not sorry that I need to plan out everything and that I worry about everything too much, but I am sorry that that was enough for you to stop speaking to me.
To my family who has always seen this affect me:
Thank you for being there for me and supporting me the best way that you know how.
To the friend who is always there for me:
I can’t thank you enough. Thank you for pushing me to get help when you know that I need it but don’t want it. Thank you for understanding and always being there to talk and to help me through it. I wouldn’t be able to be as accepting of myself or have gotten through nearly as much as I have without you.
Anxiety doesn’t only affect the person who has it; it affects other as well. By understanding how the anxiety affects that person, it will also help you to understand and to be able to deal with the situation.