Has anyone noticed the surplus of old couture women filming videos about cooking from scratch and waiting for their husbands to come home? Or bows and stockings hung up in stores? The clean girl makeup that looks like practiced effortlessness? “I’m just a girl” said every time there’s a minor inconvenience?
Here’s some of these trends explained, their popularity, and how they have bled into our current political context, all wrapped up in a writing bow.
EXPLAINING THE TRENDS
The “trad wife,” aka “traditional wife aesthetic”, is a style that idealizes a 1950s version of femininity centered around traditional gender roles. The “trad wife” aesthetic romanticizes being a stay-at-home mother or wife to homemake, cook, and clean. Furthermore, it is portrayed as slow-living and encourages vintage and modest fashion.
Within the “trad wife” aesthetic, the ideal home scenes mirror the women working around the schedule of their husbands. Popularized by internet personality Nara Smith, who gained traction after continually posting her videos making items like Coca-Cola, ketchup, or even gum from scratch. Smith does this all with a full face of makeup and dressed to the nines in high couture clothing.
You may have heard the expression “I’m just a girl” as a way to reject stress or complicated situations. I definitely say this, and I do not feel guilt for it. However, there is something to be said about how it is sometimes taken as women relinquishing ambition or the ability to think critically. TikTok influencers even use the expression when they adopt childlike, clueless traits or as an excuse to be uninterested in deep conversations. Behaviours such as these easily reinforce the age-old stereotype that women either cannot handle complexity due to an ability to control their emotions, or their inferior capacity for education.
At its core, the coquette aesthetic is a style or persona that centres around soft femininity, a flirtatious yet virtuous nature, old-money, and old-world elegance. The style also incorporates elements of seduction. Perhaps inspired by Bridgette Bardot, Anna Karina, and more recently, Lana del Rey’s, aesthetic of the balance of innocence and seduction, the style embodies youthful femininity, down to the makeup. For example, the look uses blush to convey a flushed face, the eyeshadow focuses on widening the eyes, and the lip colour focuses on making lips look bigger and/or bitten.
Nabokov’s Lolita is also closely associated with this aesthetic. The link originates from their shared characteristics of elusiveness shrouded in soft ribbon, lace, ballet flats and frill socks.
But hey, there is so much positivity to observe pertaining to women reclaiming the colour pink, dresses/skirts and femininity, showcased in my article titled “Just Add Bows”.
HAVE WOMEN PERPETUATED THESE TRENDS?
Women and girls are so multifaceted and have had to fight for their rights in so many different contexts. The most notable in the past years being that women can be CEOs, managers, politicians, etc. They’ve had to show that they are capable of achieving these positions and fulfilling them just as well, if not better, than their male counterparts.
The trends, especially “trad wife” and “I’m just a girl,” could be a rejection or reaction against hustle culture and the constant pressure to produce. It is a popular opinion on the internet nowadays that society’s structure, in terms of jobs, is unnatural, and humans are made to linger rather than labour. With this, young women especially seem exhausted by the pressure to “do it all”. Under the patriarchy and late-stage capitalism, receiving an education and developing a career is viable for a woman and then within her domestic sphere, with a partner and kids, is subjected to her “double shift”. The pressure is tangible and is framed as the only way to “get what you want”. Thus, women may see this as an outlet, or a reclamation of softness and rest.
The social media influence and exposure on these trends is also tangible. TikTok and Instagram reward and push hyper-feminine aesthetics. The popularity of this trend may also be a reaction against modern feminism where some believe current feminism has pushed women in roles that oppose traditional values.
OUR CURRENT POLITICAL CONTEXT
These trends are primarily aesthetic, or do they simply appear so on the surface? Female politicians have been adopting a softer aesthetic while still maintaining authority. This includes accessorizing with bows, pearls, or wearing dresses. In doing so, women actively keep a controlled image of femininity into the political sphere and also challenge the notion that power must look masculine. Wielding femininity in this manner is a demonstration of feminism that reinforces a woman’s right to choose and pursue a life that suits her needs.
The social media influencers who are embracing the ultra-feminine, soft aesthetic have inadvertently become cultural icons for conservative and nationalist politicians that reinforce traditional values, such as the nuclear family structure.
The nostalgic visuals that these influencers put forward not only make their audience long for a “simpler time” but encourage them to seek out the political means or administration that will deliver the promise of it. Additionally, sometimes the coquette aesthetic is misused in order to idealize pre-feminist eras.
In the leftist, progressive side of politics, the aesthetic has been reclaimed for the argument of autonomy and self-expression. Some see the style as a way of contesting the argument that femininity is submissive, or that the concept of softness somehow equates to weakness.
Furthermore, politics in the modern-day social media sphere has been aestheticized. The romanticization of coquette easily contrasts with modern political chaos. It’s an escapist feature that makes a powerful tool for pushing political agendas, either to soften or obscure it. For example, when conservative women politicians lean into softer aesthetics to give the impression of being gentle or unthreatening, think Sarah Palin. Oftentimes, these women will push policies such as pro-life laws, framing them as the protection of traditional values. Similar to a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
CRITIQUING THE TRENDS
This March, Women’s History Month, reminds society about what women fought for; the right to work, own property, vote and acquire the right to choose. The romanization of the past manages to overlook and ignore reality. Idealizing the 1950s archetype of the housewife dangerously erases the aspects of the period that harmed women socially, economically and mentally, such as financial dependence, lack of marital laws, and isolation.
The trends also reinforce gendered expectations. Although feminism is centred around giving women choice, these trends have the effect of pressuring women into thinking that submission and returning to tradition is the only correct way to be feminine. Finally, framing fragility as an ideal is limiting and entraps women without the dated idea that women’s power only lies in being perceived as desirable, notably under the male gaze, rather than being capable and intelligent.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
Well, it means that anything, especially women’s style or interests, can be co-opted for political means and ammunition. However, just like all things, it depends on the lens you view these trends through: is saying “I’m just a girl” simply a saying? Is the coquette style a way for women to reclaim their love of pink bows rather than implying they only wish to be regarded for their docile innocence rather than experience? Is being a “trad wife” a tragedy or simply a choice? Women deserve to claim these trends without being poached for political ends. Feminism cements the right to choose, and we need to protect that right. Staying informed about the ways trends are perceived, used, and weaponized is the real girl math. But what do I know? I’m just a girl, but, like all women, I am so much more.