I don’t miss you. I used to wonder how I don’t miss someone who used to be such a huge part of my life. Is there something wrong with me? Am I heartless? I used to believe that there must be something wrong with me if I find it hard to miss you. You were essentially like a sister to me for a very long time. My very early realization of 2017 is that I shouldn’t question why I don’t miss you.
I don’t owe it to you to miss you. I’m not obligated to. And that’s okay.
When I look back on the good times we shared, I am a bit critical of them. Looking back, I don’t know how the old me was able to tolerate so much disrespect and hate from one person. I felt like I owed it to you to be loyal to you, because you held the title of being my best friend. Just because I had given you that title in my head, doesn’t mean I deserved to tolerate all that you put me through. But at that point of my life, I did have happiness in you. There were good times, and I will give you credit for them. You did do some good things for me. There were some great times that I will forever cherish. I will always look back on those moments and remember how they shaped me to be who I became today.
I value the good times, I appreciate them, but I do not miss them.
Just because there were good times, doesn’t void out the bad times. Because the bad times were really bad. There is no reason why I should have had to go through so much in such a short amount of time. I don’t understand why you didn’t see that I tried. I really did. I put my heart and soul into our friendship.
I did it because then, I did miss you. But now, I don’t.
I don’t because we grew apart. We both ventured onto different paths in life. We both grew older and have different points of view. It hurts to see how the things I did and was apart of never influenced you, but you have been interested in the things I was after I left your life. It hurts how you always thought I was against you. It hurts how you never listened to me, even when I spoke up to you. You just didn’t understand my point of view. You didn’t care about my feelings, and you didn’t want me in your life.
Because of that, I got tired. I got tired of fighting for something that would get me nowhere. I was pretty much begging you to stay in my life when you were already over me.
When that hit me, I lost my feelings for you.
I realized it was time for me to let go of you and move on with my life. I tried to do that smoothly, but you really didn’t let me. I didn’t want to end things without closure or on bad terms. You didn’t get me. I hope you do now. Because of this, my heart just hasn’t been able to handle anymore. I had missed you too many times and was tired of being yo-yo’ed around. My heart gave up.
Just because I don’t miss you, doesn’t mean I don’t wish you well. I’ve seen you a few times as you’ve tried to avoid me. I don’t understand why you came into my work now, when you never once did when we were friends. But you did. Even then, I was hurt, but didn’t miss you, and didn’t wish bad on you.
I do wish the best for you. I hope your dreams and aspirations come true. I hope you are a happier person without me. Because my life is a lot better without you, too. I hope you can look back on our friendship and appreciate the good times.
You were one of the greatest memories I’ll forever cherish, because you shaped who I am. Since standing up for myself, I’ve been so much stronger, so thank you for that.
I wouldn’t ever go back to our friendship because I don’t miss you, but I will forever remember our memories.
Thank you.