Growing up as a female in a third world country in Iraq, life was different for me than it was for my male brothers. I noticed that they usually got special treatment when it came to what they were allowed to do and how they spent their days compared to what I was allowed to do and how I spent my days. They also had the chance to apply to any job they desired; while I had to remember which jobs to avoid and which jobs would be safe for me because I was a female, and I was taught a good female always thought ahead and always played it safe. Whenever I would express my political opinion, my views would be dismissed, and I would usually be told to worry about other things and not pay too much attention to politics because they were not part of my future. I was told that my future should include building a family and having kids that will make me proud because motherhood should always be my ultimate goal in life. I used to think that these views and this type of treatment guided by inequality, only existed in third world countries. I used to think that in first world countries such as the United States and Canada, equality existed between men and women. That changed completely when I finally moved to Canada about 10 years ago. Again, I was faced with gender inequality; an inequality that would deny me many opportunities in life compared to my male counterparts. I realized that women here are also trained to think that, ultimately, they should get married, build a family, have kids, and indulge in motherhood for the rest of their lives. I realized that while many women here are able to voice their political opinion, they are still dismissed as less intelligent than their male counterparts. They are encouraged not to engage in political conversations because they could offend their fathers, uncles, brothers, and male coworkers etc. A good woman does not stir the pot; she does not cause conflict. She just talks about “girly” things such as makeup, reality tv shows, romantic novels, gossiping about other women, and finding a husband/getting married.
Why are women discouraged from engaging in political debate whether it is a first world or a third world country? Why are women encouraged from a very young age to get married and have children? The reality is, we are not born with these beliefs and desires in us. We do not come out of the womb dreaming about the day we become wives and mothers; instead we are trained from a very young age by our parents, teachers, and relatives, to believe these irrational thoughts. This is not to say that no woman in the world wants to get married and have children. Rather, this is to say that most women do not see marriage and motherhood as their ultimate goal in life. Women are intelligent, hard-working, thoughtful, and strong enough to decide for their own selves what they want to do in their lives.
I want women to stir the pot, to voice their political opinions, to challenge the patriarchy and the status quo, to defy blind traditions, and to help other women to stand up for themselves. I want women to not worry about “offending” their male counterparts by simply stating what they believe in and what they stand for. I want women to know that Feminism is about equality and that calling themselves Feminists is a good thing that unites us all together. I am so proud of all the women around me who are doing the best they can everyday to change gender inequality because they are choosing everyday to stir the pot one day at a time.