Yes, I’m a French major and no, I’m not fluent. This may come as a shock, but it’s true. Unlike most of the students in the French program who came from French immersion schools or fully French schools, I came from core French. For those who don’t know about the core French program, there is a large focus on grammar (verb tenses, parts of speech, etc.) and little to no focus on oral language training. In fact, most of the class is taught in English. This can make things difficult when moving from core French in high school to full-on French-taught classes in university.
I am just about to complete my second year of a French and English double major. In fact, after this semester, I will have completed 10 out of the 17 French classes I am required to take for my degree. I am proof that this transition from core French to full French is possible. However, it does come with some challenges. There are difficulties and frustrating moments. But there are also victories and rewarding moments. There are moments of accomplishment, but also moments of failure and mental breakdowns. I have ended up crying in or because of my French classes more than I would like to admit.
After my very first French lecture in my first semester, I went to talk to my prof. Since I could not speak enough French to say what I wanted to say, I spoke to her in English. She responded in French (which I expected) and made it clear that it would be expected that we speak in French in class. Again, I expected this. She was very understanding, patient, and encouraging. I tried my best to participate in class and I ended up learning new words and becoming more comfortable speaking in French.
This confidence did not last very long, though. The following semester, I had a prof who was not encouraging at all. If we didn’t know the answer, how to pronounce a word, or what the word was in French, it was like the end of the world for him. I grew scared to answer in class for fear of being yelled at and humiliated. Since French is a small department, I had this same prof again in my third semester, and instead of things getting progressively better, they got worse. I was really upset after we got our midterms back and I was trying to hold back tears (though it wasn’t working). The prof was taking up the midterm. I sat in the front of the very small class and he could clearly see that I was crying. I never expected him to say anything, but what he did next I will never forget – and not in a good way. He asked me to give an answer to a question from the midterm. I did not have my hand raised and I was ready to get up and run from the class. But I didn’t although I started crying a little harder. He waited two minutes before he realized I wasn’t going to answer the question. I was humiliated.
The current (fourth) semester came with the greatest challenge yet: Oral Proficiency class. I was very anxious about this class. It might be an easy class for most students, but I knew it was going to be difficult for me, but I also knew that it would help me. This class raised my anxiety levels and I would come out of class crying fairly often. I even struggled with the thought of dropping out of the program. I decided to fight it out, but I knew, if I failed this class, I would have to drop out. The humiliation and anxiety of having to repeat the class would be too much. I would have to become a full English major with a French minor. But this is not what surprised me. Just the other day, we were doing a debate in class and we had some time to make points with our debate groups. We are supposed to talk French in the class (obviously), but it takes me longer than the others to process what I want to say because of my limited education in speaking French and my limited (but always growing) vocabulary. One of my classmates actually told me, “Just speak English.” You would think your classmates are the people who would support you and be more patient with you when you are trying to learn. But these classmates were the ones who wouldn’t give me a chance. It was devastating and kind of humiliating. I try to speak, but people make me feel inferior because my accent isn’t perfect and because I don’t know all the words. For me, this class has been an environment that doesn’t encourage me to talk; it is mentally, emotionally, and physically draining. Of course there are some exceptions and some of my classmates are encouraging.
I knew when I started this program that it was going to be more difficult for me than for most of the other students. I have learned a lot and I can definitely speak better than I could when I started this program. However, I don’t believe that it is okay to make a student feel humiliated and belittled just because he/she does not come from the same situation as you or because he/she cannot speak as well. I should not be afraid to talk to my profs. Students and profs need to work together to encourage core French people to take French classes. There needs to be an atmosphere of encouragement where students feel that, no matter what level of French they have at the moment, the profs and other students will help, be patient, and try to understand their difficulties. Being a minority in a majority of French-fluent people does not need to be a difficult and negative experience.