“So, what are you going to do after you graduate?”
The dreaded question. A favourite for family gatherings, professors’ office hours, and apparently, any new stranger who happens to find out you’re attending university. There’s also the betrayal when fellow students have the audacity to ask this, and somehow, they always seem to have a better answer than you.
“What are your plans after graduation?”
Another question with a slightly different flavour. As if adding the word “plan” somehow makes any answer you give seem more professional. Don’t be fooled — any answer you give can and will be used against you.
“After my son/daughter/cousin/employee/neighbour (you get the point) graduated, they…”
This at first seems like a possible solution to the incorrect answer you gave earlier. Again, do not be fooled. This probably will not work for you.
“What’s next?”
This question is fun because it implies that you have an inherent ability to tell the future.
“You know, the Real World™ is just as stressful as university. If not more!”
Thanks, that makes you feel much better.
“If you went into ______ instead, it would be easier to find a job.”
Don’t take it personally; they say that to everyone.
“Congratulations!”
Finally! After all of the literal blood, sweat, and tears you put into this degree, the sleep schedule it will take you a decade to repair, and all of the caffeine that will never truly leave your system, you receive the words you really needed to hear. It feels amazing! You’re so proud! And you should be because you worked your a** off to get this far and you are going to do great things.
Congratulations, collegiettes. You made it!