The Holiday season truly is the ‘most wonderful time of the year’. The time between writing final exams and seeing the marks you received on them is blissful. It’s exciting to buy gifts for your family, friends, and significant other (even if it’s just your cat). The cheesy holiday movies are on every night and you never seem to run out of hot chocolate. It seems like a great time for everyone to get together and be all warm-and-fuzzy with one another. Right?
You can lie to me all you want, but years of personal experience and sharing stories with friends has taught me that everyone has a crazy family. Granted, each family has varying degrees of crazy, but there appear to be common stereotypes at every holiday gathering. Read along and laugh, then sigh, as you realize how accurate these descriptions really are.
1) The uncle that drinks too much
Everyone has a story about the time Uncle Jim offered alcohol to the pre-teen cousins (all too eager to seize) before being caught by Aunt Carol. Usually, a screaming-match follows.
2) The grandparent that questions your life choices
“Why are you going to university for Liberal Arts/Business/Political Science/Psychology? Don’t you know NO ONE is hiring for THAT job? What are you planning to do with a degree like that? When I was your age…” Do I even need to continue? This is the relative that, once you told them what you were going to school for, turned your picture around on the mantle and started speaking about you in the past tense.
3) The cousin that’s always better than you
No matter how you’ve done in any area of your life (school, work, relationships), this cousin always seems to do you one better. They always feel the need to highlight this for some reason. Thank goodness you’re old enough to drink now. Maybe you can drown out their words with that third glass of wine.
4) The in-laws that don’t belong
Let’s face it, someone’s in-laws are totally judging your entire family right now. They’re probably sitting in a corner taking turns giving one another the, “when will it be an appropriate time to leave?” glance. Don’t worry, someday you’ll be them.
5) The gossiping aunt
Everyone in the family groans internally whenever she beelines for you the moment before dinner is served. Got a bad grade? Went through a breakup? Or, a personal favourite, How are things at home? You’re really regretting that third glass of wine now because you know that everything you say to this one can and will be used against you.
You probably recognize these stereotypes and realize which one you fit into. I’d offer advice, but then I wouldn’t have as many interesting stories to listen to when we get back from break. See you in the new year collegiettes!