Sometimes it seems that the male and female genders just don’t come from the same planet. Maybe boys are just clueless, or maybe girls just expect more than they should. Either way, here’s 11 things that girls wish guys knew.
1. I don’t owe you SH*T!
I had a great time on our date too, thanks for dinner… no I don’t want to “take this upstairs”. Paying for a date isn’t paying to get in my pants. Just because we’re making out doesn’t mean I want to take it all the way, blue balls won’t kill you but being a jerk just might. Sometimes we just want to Netflix and chill, not Netflix and chill. It doesn’t matter if we’ve known each other for five minutes or five years, I don’t owe you anything. Just because you’re nice to me doesn’t mean you deserve a reward; it means you know how to be a decent human being.
2. It’s the simple things that steal our heart
Most of us don’t need a fancy dinner or a Tiffany’s necklace. Spoil us with flowers or cute little texts that say you’re thinking of us. Show up spontaneously with a bottle of wine and some movies, or remember our birthday and our favourite song without having to think about it. We’re not as complex and high maintenance of a gender as Hollywood makes us out to be. We don’t want material objects, we want time and trust. A single rose is worth more than a dozen, just like a night in together cuddling is worth more than an overpriced salad.
3. Just because I’m in a bad mood doesn’t mean it’s “that time of the month”
I’m allowed to be grumpy for no reason just as much as you are. Being cranky doesn’t mean that I’m bleeding out of my vagina; it means I require a bit more patience today. If I need my space then please understand that I just need time to recharge. If I want you to come over, then shower me with cuddles (if that’s what I want) until I’m smiling. Treat me how you’d like to be treated if you were the one having a bad day. And never, ever, EVER ask a girl if she’s menstruating just because she’s in a mood.
4. If you’re not into me, let me know
So you haven’t replied to my texts for 2 days but you were on twitter about 5 minutes ago. You a) lost your phone, b) I leave you speechless, or c) you’re just not that into me. Chances are the answer is c. Girls aren’t the fragile little flowers that we’re made out to be, and we will be more appreciative knowing it’s not going to work out rather than waiting around to figure it out ourselves. The more up-front guys are the ones that don’t get trashed talked to our friends… at least not that bad. So buck up and let us know if you’re not feeling it, because we could have spent the past two days replacing you instead of chasing you. Also, if you’re only down for friends with benefits and don’t want a relationship, then let me know. Honesty is always the best policy.
5. If my friends pull me away in the club, let me go
There’s probably a reason. Maybe it’s a girls night, maybe I’m in a relationship, or maybe I just don’t want to dance with you. Either way, don’t keep trying… please. It’s awkward for everyone. I’m sure there’s another girl that would love to dance with you, go find her. Also, if I do spend the night dancing with you, it doesn’t mean I want to spend the rest of the night with you. If I don’t want to take it farther, respect my decision because I don’t owe you anything.
6. Sometimes I don’t know what I want, and that’s okay!
Sometimes we just don’t know. Our feelings change, our thoughts change, and things just change. I don’t even know what we don’t know… we just don’t know! When we say we’re fine, we’re usually not. We say this because we don’t know how to express how or what we’re feeling. We just don’t know, okay? This includes, but is not limited to, what we want to do and where we want to eat.
7. Nice guys don’t finish last
Girls don’t love jerks; they love confidence (but NOT cockiness!!!!!). Girls also love when they’re into a guy. If you feel like you lost because you’re “stuck in the friend zone”, maybe the spark’s just not there. Sure, the nice guy may not win right now, but the nice guy is the one that ends up happily married. Sorry if I “led you on” or you decided that you want more from me. Also, if you go around saying that you’re the nice guy, there’s a good chance that you’re not…
8. I don’t look good just to impress you
I look good to feel good. I look good to feel Beyoncé fierce when I see my reflection. I don’t look good to impress you or your friends. Sure, that may be one of my goals as I do my makeup but it’s not THE goal. Girls wear makeup for them, not the world. This eyeliner took 15 minutes and another 10 just to make both eyes look even. My outfit? That’s also for me. If this top makes my boobs look great then you bet I love it, but I’m not flaunting it for you boo.
9. Don’t send unsolicited nudes
If we don’t ask, please don’t send. There’s a good chance we won’t ask. If you do send without being asked, please prepare for it to be laughed at, shown to our friends, ignored, and for us to now think differently about you. A penis is both unromantic and kind of ugly. Additionally, don’t expect anything in return. Don’t get upset if we don’t reciprocate something we didn’t even want in the first place. Also it’s weird… very weird.
10. The word “no”
No means no. Not right now means no. I have a boyfriend means no. Back off means no. No thanks means no. No means no, no means stop, and no means please go away. No exceptions.
11. Feminism isn’t about hating men
The misconceptions about feminism are very important things that need to be sorted out. Feminism is for the equality of both genders and for equal rights of women. If you can’t support my gender having the same rights as yours, then it won’t work. If you’re confused about what feminism is then just ask. It’s a very easy concept, and you don’t have to be female to be a feminist.