Popcorn balls are a salty and sweet Halloween treat, but I’m just salty about Halloween. What makes Halloween so great, anyway? The costumes? No one has time to plan and create something unique. Instead, we girls just go as a cliché cat. It sure enough isn’t the candy that makes Halloween great. We all know that most of it’s either stale from last year or the generic brand, because no one has the money for the good stuff.
But why do I really hate Halloween? Halloween freaks me out. I don’t get any satisfaction whatsoever from my heart racing and almost peeing my pants because something with a chainsaw or clown mask is chasing me through a haunted house. I absolutely don’t understand the thrill behind that.
Another reason I hate Halloween is just that, frankly, I don’t want people knocking on my door ALL NIGHT LONG. My family’s home was always the house in the neighborhood that had all the lights off and wouldn’t even leave a bowl of candy outside for the few people that would ignore our subtle hint of no lights.
Oh, and how about the fact that it’s not even a holiday? Halloween is just a lame excuse for freaks to come out of hiding, girls to dress slutty, and the rest of us to eat handfuls of candy without feeling guilty about it. Halloween is thought to have originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off roaming ghosts. Over the years, things have been twisted and turned. Instead of warding off ghosts, we are wearing costumes to look like them. Doesn’t make sense, does it?
So while all of you are stuffing your faces with off-brand chocolate, getting all dressed up in your costumes for trick-or-treating, or dressing down your costume for a party, I will be in my room with my door locked watching comedies, drinking chocolate milk and hoping that no one knocks on my door.