Being gay is one of the hardest things I experience. It’s hard to have people staring at you when you’re holding hands with your significant other. It’s hard having to explain to people that despite dating guys all my life, I am now in love with a girl. But most of all, it’s hard to lose people that you never thought you would.
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About a year ago, I started dating a girl who I’ve been friends with for years. I could not have been happier, and I expected the people around me to be happy for me, as well. A few months into the relationship, I decided to tell my close friends about her. Most of them were happy for us, and they never thought twice about it. But this wasn’t the case for everyone.
When I told my so-called best friend, she looked at me like I had committed a horrific crime. The only thing she said was “why?” This was the last thing I expected from her. Since that day, everything changed. My parents reacted in the worst way possible by threatening to kick me out, make me go to counseling and telling me I don’t belong in the family anymore. But despite losing my parents and my ex-best friend, I am a better person than I was before.
Dating a girl does not define me. Yet, that’s what people seem to forget. The person I love has nothing to do with who I am. My love life does not affect anyone else but me. This is who I am, and it cannot be changed. I do not need to hear about why someone can’t accept me or give me a poor excuse as to why you’re being disrespectful.
Even if I could change my sexuality, I wouldn’t do it for anyone. My happiness should have been the only thing that mattered when I came out, but instead some wanted to make it about themselves. And for that, I cannot forgive them. How can my own family and best friend drop me cold because “that’s how they were raised”?
If you were raised to be selfish and unaccepting, then I am glad you found your way out of my life. Without you I’m better and free. I no longer feel the pressure of trying to impress you with what I am doing in my life. It gets tiring to have to always explain why this relationship is a good one.
If you are always looking for reasons to bring my girlfriend down, then you are doing too much. “You guys are moving too quick”, “I don’t want to see you guys hold hands in public” and “That doesn’t sound like the best relationship” are all examples of things that I would hear whenever she was brought into a conversation. I will never understand what makes this relationship so wrong to them, but I no longer can care what they think. I did not deserve to lose my parents and my best friend over this, but they certainly did not deserve me in their lives.
I do not regret my decision to tell my family and friends about my relationship. Through it, I have found the people who are actually worth having in my life. Those who will be accepting of any choices I decide to make for my own happiness are the people worth holding on to.