The “UWF Students” Facebook Page can be a useful tool or a waste of time, it just depends on what you’re looking for. With 2,780 members, students who are Facebook users can request to join the page or be added in by a friend. It’s a hub for UWF students who can ask about or share information with each other. What that information is, is where the entertainment lies.
Here are nine things you’ll definitely find on the page:
1. Cries for help
I’m not one to judge but there are certain social media platforms out there *cough, Tinder, cough* that will help you find some friends. No need to spam us with your thirsty outbursts.
2. Genuine questions that deserve genuine answers.
“Is this campus amenity worth utilizing?”
“Where can I get sushi that won’t poison me?”
3. Questions that should’ve been Googled.
“Where do I pick up my parking pass?”
“What’s the Student Health Services phone number?”
You took the time to open the Facebook app, search for the “UWF Students” page, type that question out, and wait for a response… when you could’ve just Googled it.
4. Attempts at networking
If you can’t do it in person, try the Internet. This works for talking to your mom, dating, ordering pizza, purchasing sex toys and even reaching out for future employment opportunities. If you have a skill and the desire to put it to work, then go for it.
5. “Does anyone have one of these?”
A football ticket, a floor lamp, a textbook, the list goes on… It’s basically like Facebook Marketplace but we’re all fumbling around, pawning off our gently used trash at each other.
6. Shameless advertisement
Karen, please stop. You literally glued a wine cork to a magnet. That’s not worth $9, Karen. It’s just not. And if it isn’t some poorly constructed, ultra-expensive craft, it’s an advertisement for a campus organization. Smart use of social media, kids, but no one wants to join the Paperclip Club.
7. Housing opportunities
This is an awesome use of the page because it feels so safe. You think you’re only asking fellow Argos, so the offer of a clean apartment with inexpensive rent is exciting. That is, until you look at the person’s profile and realize they have zero mutual friends, a fake profile picture, an unlisted birth year, and their About Me says, “Are you a cornfield? ‘cause I’m stalking you.”
8. Helpful updates and advice
Apparently the Waffle House on Nine Mile Rd is no longer offering student discounts. How do I know? Some fine and upstanding gentleman announced it for all Argos to read. His disheartening news caused waves of grief throughout campus and beyond. For a moment, the campus was quiet; we collectively mourned the loss of the smothered, covered, chunked, capped hash browns.
9. The word “anyone”
I cringe every time I read that word. Nearly every single post on the UWF Students page has that word in it. Once you start looking for it, you’ll always notice it.
Cover photo courtesy of the UWF Students Facebook page