The general consensus on public restrooms: they’re gross, awkward, and unsanitary. But where would we be without them? Shitting our pants, that’s where. So we deal with the lack of privacy in exchange for the privacy of not urinating on the floor.
The six thoughts we all have in public restrooms:
1. “Nope, nope, nope!”
You ever walk into a stall and make an immediate u-turn? There’s unidentified fluid on the toilet seat, a blood soaked pad stuck to the wall, it smells like someone forgot they have a dairy allergy, and there’s a foot-long stool sample in the bowl. No fucking thank you.
2. “If I die in here, at least my bowels will be purged.”
The restroom is dimly lit and there’s no air conditioning but you have no other choice. You knew you shouldn’t have eaten that fourth burrito but you did it anyway. You’re sweating. This may be the end.
3. “Where do I put my tampon?”
The thought of touching the “feminine courtesy box” is enough to make anyone gag. Periods aren’t gross; they’re a natural and awesome process. But an unwrapped, gooey tampon on the floor will turn anyone’s stomach.
4. “Can I contract an STD if I sit here for too long?”
That’s not how it works but you’re still going to Google it. You strategically and painstakingly made a triangle of toilet paper across the sides and top of the seat but you’re still concerned.
5. “Why did I wear a romper?”
You forgot that you literally have to strip down to the knees to pee. Suddenly you’re very aware of the gaps between the stall door and the wall.
6. “Ew, that person did *not* wash their hands!!”
You heard them enter, do their business, and leave without washing their hands. You now have cold, hard evidence that people are out there spreading their genital-germs on doorknobs and menus.
Thumbnail Courtesy of Wimp.com