Hey!
I know it’s been a little while since we’ve talked, but I’ve just been thinking about you lately. Hope you’re doing well. I just thought I’d let you know how I’ve been doing lately…in case you wanted to know. I think after we broke up, things just kind of moved too easily. After one not so long conversation, we both just became single. And it was definitely weird and sad. I’m not sure which one it was more of, though. After it happened it was weird because now I didn’t have anyone to routinely call or text every day. I didn’t have that one person that was just there and was just a call away. I didn’t have that one person I wanted to Skype for hours at night and just be able to sit in silence with anymore. It was lonely for awhile.
And for that while when I was still alone and friendless, I cut off everything that reminded me of you. My favorite band and songs, cooking, certain movies and shows, etc. It was hard to see or listen to that stuff without being reminded of you and thinking about what could’ve been. You must’ve felt the same way. I guess.
But if I’m being honest, and I don’t mean to hurt you when I say this, but I’m glad we broke up. I think being young and immature and thinking we had our shit together was just too ambitious of us to take on. We did really well for a good while, but I’m glad things ended the way they did. Because if they hadn’t, I would’ve felt like I had to dedicate my nights only to you. I know you pushed me to go out there and make friends, but my dependency got in the way of my progression as an individual. Sorry for not listening to you. Don’t worry though because after we broke up, I forced myself to make friends and speak out to avoid being lonely at night and crying myself to sleep. And because of that, I now have friends that I can rely on and know that if I cry I don’t have to feel by myself. I know I’ll be treated like a woman and a best friend and a little sister and everything I know I deserve to be treated as. I feel supported and cared for, and I’ll be honest, there were points in our relationship where I didn’t feel like that. And I think that’s where we differed. Our personalities just clashed too much that I think I couldn’t support you in the way you needed to be. I think I expected too much of you, and I’m sorry if I made you feel like you weren’t doing enough.
I also know that now I can go back to enjoying the things I used to love and that we used to do together without being crippled with sadness. I don’t have to hide my feelings or hobbies or tv shows that remind me of you because there was a point in my life where I enjoyed them before I met you. I’ve also been really enjoying spending more money on myself in moderation. One thing that you did that used to push my buttons was your frivolous spending on things you definitely did not need. Yes, one thing specifically being a $300 flannel, which I know you never returned even though I asked you to return it. But you know what? I’m not your mom. I’m not responsible for you, and I’m sorry if I ever mom’ed you around. If I did, it’s because I wanted to help you. But now I know there’s a fine line between moming around and guiding. Hopefully you haven’t blown the majority of your paychecks on stuff like that. Don’t think your mom (who I still miss) would be very happy about that.
To wrap it up, I just wanted to say that I don’t regret our relationship at all. You taught me what I want in a future significant other and what I don’t want. You taught me how to adapt to new relationships and how to care for another person. You even unintentionally taught me that despite being sad about how we ended and being single again, I am capable of being okay without you. We’re both young and immature and learning and this relationship was no exception to our experience as people just trying to figure out what we want in life. As much as I loved our short time being together, I’m happy now with my growth as an individual. And I sincerely hope you are, too. So thank you for our time together and how you changed my life during our relationship and even after. If I ever see you or talk to you again, I hope you can just see me as me whether that’s as a friend, acquaintance, or whatever floats your boat. No preferences here. No matter what, I’m wishing you the best. I hope whoever you find after me makes you feel as happy you made me.
Good luck!