Hey everyone, I wanted to talk about something a little different than our typical articles today. I wanted to talk about perspectives on life. Recently I travelled a lot and started rethinking all my plans for my life. I feel like travelling does a good job of giving me a new perspective on my life and the world in general, so I was just pondering my life plans.
If you grew up Asian American, especially Indian American, you will know what I’m talking about when your parents have always expected you to get married at a certain age and have kids by a certain age, and to work hard at your job so you can relax more when you’re older. Whenever I thought about what I wanted to do in the future, I just referred to that plan. “Well, I need to get married and have kids by this age, and if I want to be a stay at home mom, I should keep my head down and work super hard for like the next 10 years so I can get a ton of money, so I won’t struggle like my parents, and be able to actually chill.” I would say this to myself so often whenever I felt stressed out, since I was like 15.
As I go through life I kind of realize that there are no rules. There’s 0 rules to how you need to live your life (well except for like the law of wherever you live, but tbh that’s more of a suggestion, you can still do whatever, it’s just you’ll have consequences for your actions). I then thought about my plan, what my real goal in life is, what my parents wanted for me, etc. My parents immigrated to Canada and then America to give my siblings and I a better life than they had in their country. But what is a better life? More money? More Fame? Power? For me, a better life is a happier life. But for me and a lot of people, working my ass off for 10 years does not sound like a “happy time” for me. There are so many other things in my life that make me happy, like my friends, making art, travelling, meeting new people, etc. But if I keep my head down, I won’t be able to do that and then boom my 20s are gone.
That was my wake up call. It made me rethink what I really wanted. It also made me think differently of my friends who didn’t follow the same path as I did. I used to feel like my friends were “bad” for not going to college, for indulging in things, for living their life differently from mine. I realized that these are merely decisions. Nothing is necessarily better nor worse ‘cause everything is subjective. When I thought about how I would get upset at my friends for their “bad decisions” I realized that they’re just decisions. I put the “bad” label on them. If I was a real friend, I should just give my opinion if it’s wanted and support my friends regardless of their life choices.
I used to think I was very open minded already, but I think I have reached a new level of being open to different things. I guess the lesson I’m trying to teach here is just remember there are no rules to life, so just don’t judge yourself or other people for the decisions you all make.
TLDR: Do what makes you happy, and don’t trash other people for doing the same.