A habit that I’ve had since I was just a wee child was picking at my nails. I don’t bite them; I just pick at them. I’ve tried several different methods in trying to stop it, but it’s only a temporary fix before I start doing it again. I’ve recently discovered the reason that I do this – it’s because of my anxiety.
Picking at my nails is my way of releasing any anxious feelings that I have and it helps to keep the rest of me “calm.” No, I’m not a walking nervous wreck that looks like I’m about to cry all of the time. On top of my generalized anxiety, I struggle a lot with social anxiety. Going to college and working as a sales associate in retail, I’m surrounded by people quite often.
It’s gotten to the point that I’m not even aware that I pick at my nails. If I’m not doing something with my hands, that’s what I’m most likely doing. I’ve found a longer lasting method that works really well. In fact, it was a method that I could virtually have forever and not have to worry about picking at my nails ever again, but it’s a luxury that costs a little more money than I have and it’s not something that I absolutely need.
That method is acrylic nails. I know it sounds so high maintenance of me – feeling that I need to have these fancy acrylic nails. That’s what it sounds like. But, it’s not. While acrylics are pretty and colorful, that’s not the only reason that I get them.
Having acrylic nails made it significantly more difficult to pick at my cuticles because of the rounded edge that I got. In fact, when I had them, I changed my way of releasing my anxious feelings to tapping them on a hard surface because of the noise. It’s a great solution and my nails actually looked healthy and untouched. There weren’t any ugly hangnails or damaged skin. The best part was that my fingers didn’t hurt.
I haven’t had acrylics on since the end of June and I am really starting to miss them. I usually take them off during the summer months because I don’t really dress up and I’m more likely to break them because I go outside more and am more rough on my hands. The experience of busting an acrylic completely off is a pain that I don’t want to experience.
However, this is the longest I’ve gone without them since I’ve had them. I miss them for the sole reason that this habit I struggle with has gotten really bad. My fingers hurt and I’m consciously trying to find something to keep them busy at all times. That’s one of the reasons that I spend a lot of time writing or even took up crocheting. It keeps my hands doing something other than picking at my fingers. It works, but at the same time, it’s only temporary.
Breaking a bad habit is definitely a challenge. It’s one that I hope to conquer one day and I hope that others can as well. Until then, I’ll have to keep going through the lists of temporary fixes.