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Local Student Inexplicably Struggles to Get Over Super Bowl Loss

Sources have confirmed that local Bio Chem student Kelsie Rink is still “absolutely devastated” by the results of Sunday’s championship game. 

Those close to Kelsie are perplexed by her dedication to the 49ers, and say that she has little-to-no connection to the team, and hadn’t been watching them this season. 

“It was just all so exciting. I mean, Katie Sowers? JLo and Shakira? This was supposed to be our year.”

Kelsie’s friends can only hope that she soon discovers how absolutely phenomenal the US Women’s Soccer team is. 

DISCLAIMER: Satire (the loss is still ridiculously frustrating)

Stephanie Zengler is a Business Administration major and Communication Studies minor, and she completely understands if you think her last name is actually Ziegler. Like a lot of business majors, Stephanie has a favorite Andrew Carnegie quote, and like a good communication minor, has very strong opinions on the Oxford comma. Aside from being a Stout student, Stephanie is an avid fan of Bay Area sports, Fleetwood Mac, and the amazingly perfect show Dollface.
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